Doctor's ADVICE: Could this cougar be pregnant at 47?
Q I am a guy of 19, and recently my virginity was taken by a really attractive older woman.
She has certainly taught me a lot, doc. But what is making me fret is this. Could I accidentally get her pregnant, even though she is now 47?
A The fertility of women does decline sharply in their 40s. However, this cougar lady could become pregnant, especially if she still has regular menses. Therefore, I would advise you to buy some condoms, and to use them while this relationship continues.
Q As a girl of 17, I have always considered myself a bit of an 'ugly duckling'. But now, to my amazement, a boy at college has approached me and indicated that he wants to have sex with me. This is rather bewildering. Do you think it means that he loves me?
A Like a lot of young women, you are confusing love and sex. When a guy wants to have sex with a girl, this does not mean that he loves her. Far from it.
What you have not realised is that horny young men will cheerfully have sex with almost any woman, provided that she is not too bad looking! Often, women do not realise that highly sexed men think that way.
Indeed, I recently saw a male who had intercourse with a female whom he thoroughly disliked as a person. When I asked him why he had done it, he looked at me in a puzzled way and said: "because she was available, of course."
So, please do not get any ideas that because the guy wants sex with you he must love you. I really cannot advise you to go ahead with this sexual relationship. But if you do so, please practise safe sex and insist on a condom.
Q I am 20 years old and whenever I am with my girlfriend, I try to use a condom. But each time I try to put it on, I lose my erection. Why?
A This is called 'condom collapse syndrome', and it is really common. It is caused from anxiety, and particularly from the stress of trying to roll a condom on to yourself while attempting to maintain an erection. Virtually, all sex experts seem to agree that the best way to deal with condom collapse syndrome is to ask your partner to put the condom on to you. That usually provides sufficient stimulation to ensure that the erection is maintained.
Q My menses are real 'scanty', and I only need to use about one pack of tampons per year. Other girls do not seem to be like me.
Do I have a problem, doc? And will I be able to have babies?
A Very scanty periods like this do suggest that you may have a hormone problem. You should go to a doctor, have an internal examination, and then a blood test for female hormones.
After that, the doctor should be able to tell you what is wrong, and whether you will be fertile. Good luck.
Q I am 19, and I've fallen in love with an older guy (age 30). He is well-off, handsome and really good in bed.
However, he is now suggesting that I let him photograph me naked, and also film us while we are having sex. Should I agree?
A No. You do not know what might happen to these photos and films. A lot of this stuff finishes up on the Internet, particularly after a relationship ends. Incredibly, some men actually like to put intimate shots of their ex-girlfriends online, so as to insult them.
I understand that this is known as 'revenge porn'. You can see the rather appalling results by just typing the two words 'revenge porn' into Google, where you will find millions of sites offering pictures of ladies who were unwise enough to let themselves be filmed by their former boyfriends.
Do not risk this happening.
Q I am a guy of 21 and six months ago I had sex for the first time. Now I notice that I have a lump, about the size of a pepper, in my right groin area. Is this VD, doc?
A That is possible. But I think it is more likely that you have just developed a hernia, also known as a rupture. There is a good health rule, and it is this: If you find a lump anywhere in the body, you should have it checked out by a doctor, preferably within a week. So that is what you should do now.
If this lump is caused from a hernia, it will be easy to cure it with an operation. And if it is a swollen gland, caused from a sexually transmitted infection, it will almost certainly be treatable with antibiotics. So please do not fret.
Q I am female, and I was a virgin until last week, when I had a long session of sex, which went on for around six hours. The next day, my clitoris was badly swollen and tender. That evening, it seemed to 'pop' and a little blood came out.
The tenderness has been gradually improving since then. But have I done myself any serious harm, doc?
A I do not think so. What you have had is a condition called 'clitoral haematoma', in which blood collects in the clitoris, as a result of prolonged friction.
Sounds like it is settling down now, but I think you should ask a doctor to check it, just in case.
Q Am I right in thinking that if I have sex with my female partner twice in a night, I would not have to use a condom on the second occasion?
I have been told by my friend that second ejaculations do not contain sperms. Is that correct, Doc?
A No, it is not. Some younger men can have several ejaculations in an evening. It is possible that the later ejaculations may contain slightly less sperms than the first one did, but there will still be more than enough to create a pregnancy. So please pay no mind to what your friend has told you.
Q When I got married last year, I was still a virgin. Unfortunately, my husband and I have still not managed to have intercourse. Is there anything we can do about this?
A Yes. The 'virgin wife syndrome' is usually due to the lady having a form of muscle contract which is called 'vaginismus'. In addition, the husband may have a degree of erectile dysfunction which makes it difficult for him to penetrate her.
Both of you should now go to a female doctor who knows a lot about family planning and related subjects. She will examine you and tell you whether you have vaginismus, or if there is something structurally wrong in the vagina, which is not very common.
She will then help the two of you to work out a way in which you can consummate your marriage, and (I hope) have children. Good luck.
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