My boss, the bully

Q: I work with a bully boss. The better I work, the more he verbally abuses me.

He shows his power by asking me to do one thing, and shortly after, asks me to undo it.

He gives me menial tasks, which he claims are in my job description as, "any other duty that may be assigned to me from time to time".

He never has a word of encouragement, though I have been working there for five years and my performance has benefited the company. And, I have to do tasks that are rightfully his responsibility.

The man is also very lazy and goes for long lunches. He often comes to work late.

How do I survive in this environment?

A: You need to get up and stand up for your rights. By standing up, it does not mean you will enjoy your work more, or that the abuse will stop. But, it will make you keep your dignity and give you confidence that you can handle hostile work environments.

However, be careful you are not judging him too harshly because of his bad behaviour.

It could be that his long lunches are power lunches, to make deals for the benefit of the company.

There are times when arriving late at the office could mean he was on the road working on a deal. He, however, could let you know when he is arriving at the office after opening hours.

Bosses are bullies for many reasons. Sometimes, bully bosses have internalised the behaviour of their bosses, or they imitate the behaviours experienced early on in their own careers.

Intimidation tactics

Some bosses at various levels, including security personnel, believe they have to manage by intimidation. They become bossy to anyone who dares to question their authority or orders. Some claim that they are bossy because they have high standards and are perfectionists, while some bosses are task driven and are exacting on employees. However, your boss does not appear to be in that category.

The attitude of your boss could be a sign he may not be confident in his abilities to manage. He might also be suffering from poor self-esteem. Perhaps, your boss is unkind because he is unhappy with his own situation at work. He could be taking out his frustrations on you because you are in a weaker position. He appears to be deliberately humiliating and berating you to cover up his own insecurities. He is perhaps trying to break your spirit and make you feel incompetent. And, in doing so, he fails to recognise or reward your good work.

You must be commended for doing good work in a hostile work environment for five years. You have not crumbled under the constant pressure, but are tired of the situation which may affect your productivity and ability to perform at your best.

Your boss needs to know you will perform best in a healthy work environment. You need to sit down and talk to him. Let him know of the negative effect he is having on you. Be open to suggestions from him on how you can handle him in a different way. Do not mention his long lunches, but be clear, calm and constructive in the issues you would like to change, and avoid being confrontational. Be prepared for the meeting and take specific problems to the meeting, with as much details as possible. Concentrate on the problems and not the personality. Also, ask what else he would require of you in order to help him at work.

If the meeting with your bossy boss does not work, and the stress is severe and consistent, then talk to a counsellor and/or doctor. If there is a confidential and competent human resource manager at your workplace, then you could also have a talk with him/her about your frustrations and what you need to do.

Ensure you take coffee breaks, lunch breaks and vacation leave to ease the stress. Additionally, make sure your diet is balanced and you are on a physical-exercise programme.

Furthermore, draw on your spiritual resources to overcome or endure your hostile work environment.

Continue to perform to the best of your ability while you are on the job, but if there is no change, then it is time to change your job. Update your résumé and begin to apply for other jobs; both those advertised and unadvertised.

It is not good to work in a hostile environment for too long.

Contact the counsellor at editor@gleanerjm.com.