Sparing the rod

Q. I am having a serious communication problem with my teenage children. If I tell them to do something, they either take forever or not do it. In my time, my mother would slap me silly, but my wife says not to touch them just talk to them. I am frustrated.

A. One of the best ways to help your children to be responsible is to remove privileges when they do not do what you tell them to do. Make it clear what the punishment will be and stick by it.

'Confused' counsellor

Q. My daughter went to a counsellor who told her that it is was quite okay for one of her parents to have an extra-marital relationship. I am very angry about this. Can I report this counsellor to an organisation in Jamaica?

A: All counsellors have a right to counsel others regarding what they believe is right. You need to sit with your daughter and explain to her why it is not right for someone to have an extramarital relationship. Ensure that you are clear in your reasoning with your daughter.

Natty dread

Q: My 15-year-old son wants to wear dreadlocks because he thinks it is a nice style. I told him having dreadlocks is not only an expensive hairstyle to maintain but he has to remember that people judge you on your appearance. Since this is generally a mainstream society, I do not want his future to be blighted by this hairstyle. He is a smart child who seems to be following some of his friends. His father, who barely supports him and does not live with us, is totally against it. I do not want to lose my son.

A. You have given some clear reasons to your son. Remember, you are the head of the household and should be respected. Continue to share your reasons with your son, ensuring that he understands the implications of such an action.

Orlean Brown-Earle, PhD, is a child psychologist and family therapist. Responses to concerns are to be considered as general, as cases shared with psychologists privately would be queried more deeply. Email questions to helpline@gleanerjm.com or send to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston.