Q. I am now 50 years old and I am in a loveless marriage.
My wife and I have never been passionate about each other.
A. Some couples fall in love and get married while some couples get married and grow to love, falling in love subsequent to the marriage.
You claim that both of you have no passion for each other, but you need to be careful that you are not projecting your feelings on your wife. How do you really know she has never been passionate over all these years? And you must have felt close to each other and passionate some time during almost 25 years of marriage. Be that as it may, you obviously feel there is a passion deficit in your marriage. And worse, you do not want to continue.
Perhaps, at this late stage, you could talk to a counsellor who could provide tips on how to kindle or rekindle passion. In addition, sometimes a marriage retreat could help. You could also try one.
When you were born, it was the time in Jamaica when 'white was right, and black stand back'. This is a form of self-hate and uncomfortableness with one's race and colour.
That both of you have cheated on each other is indicative that both of you are not happy with the marriage or aspects of the marriage. Obviously, there is something lacking in your marriage. There are some persons who feel that marital infidelity is a ground for divorce. The decision is ultimately yours.
Finally, you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your wife to ascertain if either of you want the marriage. Your marriage needs help, so move fast with the consultations and seek the intervention of a counsellor.
You should not allow anyone to pressure you into a silver wedding-anniversary celebration. You were pressured into marriage, so do not make a similar mistake. Forget about celebrations and start the consultations immediately.