'Being a teen mother is hard'

Dear Diary,

I REMEMBER the day quite vividly. It was a Friday, March 5, 2010 to be exact. My mom woke me up and told me, "You are not going to school today. Get dressed we have to leave the house by 9 a.m."

Not knowing anything, I complied. To my surprise, we ended up at our family doctor. My mom seems to have recognised that I was not the same person. Up to the time when my name was called I was not sure why I was going to see the doctor. Mom then told me why we were visiting. After that, I was then told to go in and do a pregnancy test, and the result was positive - as in four months pregnant. After seeing and hearing all that, it was as if the whole world was closing in on me.

And it got worse. I was told that I had to report that I was pregnant since I was not at the age to consent to be having sex. I was 15 years old. I was escorted by the police to the Rape Unit. I had to give a lot of information to the corporal, which I did not like. Some of the questions she asked me were like the name of the man, where he lived, his age, where we had sex, what type of building - board or concrete - and the position we had sex. I had to answer all the questions and when I was finished I was tired.

No sleep

When I got home, I called my older sister and told her what happened and she started to cry. I told my father and he hung up the phone on me. I tried to sleep that night but couldn't because there were a lot of things running through my mind, like how was I going to take care of a baby?

The next day, I had to go back to the Rape Unit. My sister and mother accompanied me. On my way there, my stepfather called my mom and told her that I must not come back to his house. Before I was pregnant, I was living with mom and my stepfather, and the house belonged to my stepfather. Mom started to cry again and said, "I don't know why you do something like this to me and now I don't have nowhere to live." I started crying too and my sister told me, "Don't cry, let us talk to the corporal about it." From that day, I had to be sleeping here and there.

The first three nights I spent with my church godmother. It hurts me to know that my father was living next door from were I was staying and I was not welcomed into his house. For the next five days, I slept at two different houses, then finally I got somewhere to stay until I had the baby.

Sudden change

In the space of a few days, my life suddenly changed. I wasn't going to high school anymore. When they found out that I was pregnant, most of my friends stopped talking to me. I started going to the Women's Centre Foundation of Jamaica shortly afterwards.

I started feeling the baby move at the end of the fourth month. I was living in a different world with strange families. It was very challenging for me and my pregnancy. It was costing my mother what she didn't have, but she tried her best all the way. I had a big sister, and God knows she was the best friend somewone in my position could have. I was happy and sad at the same time. Going to clinic was something I looked forward to, reason being I learned a lot about myself and the baby.

I was on my way from the clinic one day when my water broke. I went to Victoria Jubilee Hospital and my mother carried my bags to me. My sister was with me when I gave birth to my beautiful daughter on July 16, 2010. She weighed six pounds and eight ounces.

Being a teen mother is hard, but my daughter is worth it. If you are not willing to sacrifice your life for someone else's, I would advise teenagers not to have unprotected sex.

I am now back at a prominent high school and I intend to make the best of it this time around. I do not have a boyfriend and I have chosen to abstain. At 16, raising a child and going to school is challenging, but I want the best for my daughter and myself.

Important Fact: 18.8 per cent of births occurring in the 15-19 age group in 2008 were planned.

We welcome comments and stories from other teenage mothers. You can send these to info@eveforlife.org.