From the mailbag - Educate parents more

I was very ashamed, though smart, when I got pregnant. When society looks at you bad, it takes away from your self-worth. My mom was very embarrassed, and though I wasn't expected to be greeted with open arms, a death threat was no help to the already bad situation.

I knew I had made a 'mistake', but I pressed on. I went to school in plain clothes to do my Caribbean Secondary Education Certificate (CSEC) examinations. I felt humiliated and torn up inside. I got very good grades. But despite that, my mom treated me poorly and I felt like ending it all. I was never sent to college and I assume it was because I was now an embarrassment and that she had another mouth to feed (besides my own). I was able to get a good job because I had my CSEC subjects. I was so young, but was forced into the working world so I could care for my daughter. I was pregnant at 15 and gave birth at 16. My first job was at 16 years old! I was now a woman, caring for my daughter, working and doing evening classes to make up my math grades.

Treating a teen mom poorly is not a consolation: it's a disgrace. I was afforded good treatment in the hospital since my mom was connected, but countless young moms are beaten, cursed and left to suffer at the hands of mean, cruel nurses in the hospital. I had bonding issues with my mother due to fear caused by her. My daughter never bonded with her either. I was mortified and still know that if we had a better bonding experience a lot of things in our life would not be the way it is today. I tried, and still try 18 years later to help her understand what we had to endure. My daughter still recalls the names my mom called us.

Main concern

My main concern is for those not allowed to get a high school diploma. I made it so close by concealing my pregnancy, forgoing prenatal care, all with the aim of getting that prestigious diploma. And to this day it has haunted me. I did complete my full course of study. I started graduation rehearsals (June) only to be dismissed when the story was out. I even lost the prize for top business student.

I came to the United States of America and tried going to college. But I needed the paper to say I graduated from high school. I contacted the school via my mom and was given a 'piece of paper' saying I did attend and completed my course of studies and I was accepted into college.

While this might not be the case for everyone, it might be similar for many. Back then, girls couldn't come back to school after childbirth, and those who did, their parents went to great lengths to get them into other schools. How can a nation be better when it has uneducated parents? These girls need to be given some form of assistance and encouraged to continue their education.

I personally think it would make a difference. I'm not glorifying the idea of teen pregnancy, but an educated woman is an empowered woman.

Sincerely

Teen Mom