Babymaddamania - Compulsory checklist
I have often said (because I believe it), more power to the women who take on this business of single motherhood. It is hard enough when they follow the 'correct path' of career, marriage then motherhood, much less if they are divorced/widowed and left to raise the child alone. But when they take on hero status and say to hell with the man, I want my child no matter what, they deserve a three-course serving of medals every day.
This business of Yendi Phillipps's pregnancy announcement that has tongues wagging has left me with mixed feelings. But most important of all, in the words of the Bloodfire Posse song, dear Yendi, "Are you ready, ready? Are you really, really ready? - In case you become a single mother?
Follow my non-scientific checklist and decide.
Do you have enough financial resources left over for a child after all your high-maintenance needs?
Do you realise that having a child is (almost at the extreme), tantamount to a lifetime prison sentence ... from here on in, your life and time are not your own, no more acting on selfish whims because this little bundle of joy will grow into a huge indefinite?
Will you be able to cope with the multiples of millions it will take to give this child an even better education than the one you got from pre-K to postgrad?
What about food, clothing and shelter? Will you be able to provide a roof over his/her head indefinitely, plus food morning, evening noon and night for the child, not to mention his/her friends when they all come over?
What about the care in sickness and in health? These days, children seem to come pre-packaged with: ADHD, asthma, allergies and autism ... and that's just in the As!
Are you prepared to deal with the myriad teenage problems such as peer pressure at one extreme and shutting you out like an outcast in your own home, at the next?
Are you prepared for the time when you will become just another automated teller machine, dispensing cash for things you didn't even know existed?
Are you prepared for the years when your very presence becomes cause for major embarrassment for the child you love and adore?
Then, God forbid, your angel suffers physical harm, are you prepared to give your life for him/her?
Finally, in the event that in years to come, you part ways with his/her father, will you grow to resent your precious child for things that are not his/her fault?
My point is, I don't give a hoot about your age, your marital status or whether you made the right decision, I only want you to think carefully about whether in the long run, you have made the right decision for this unborn human being on whose behalf you now have to act. I wish you all the best and I say to the talkers, shut up already, the deed is done, we have far more important things to worry about. Some ministers of religion do far worse and we don't hold them up to such scrutiny.