The Soloist, Contributor
I tell you, there is never a dull moment in this life. By now you would have heard about the man who is suing his former fiancée for breaking off their engagement. Yup, he wants back his share of the rent, the downpayment for lavish wedding expenses, his share of money in the joint account that she raided, plus damages for causing him humiliation. Thankfully, she returned the US$32,000 ring!
Sounds to me like this young woman had a severe case of cold feet. And she has every right to change her mind; some might be saying at least give him a hint or, better yet, discuss it with him before going off for a few days, only to never return. My honest feeling, though, is that this type of thing has been done to women so often, it's nice to see the shoe on the other foot. My advice to Steven Silverstein, "Man up and get over it, you are only 29, you will find lots more women before you are really ready to settle down."
I remember the case of the man and his live-in girlfriend who were residing on a neighbouring island, sewing his wedding shirt for his marriage to another woman in Jamaica. He told her he was going home to be best man in his best friend's wedding. She later heard that he had gone home to be the groom, and she said she never saw it coming.
Then there is the case where the man slept with his girlfriend up to the night before he went to another parish to be married.
And there is yet another instance where the man continued to see and sleep with his woman on the side for close to six months after he had been married to someone else.
And even in my own family, my cousin's babyfather went off and married another woman in Clarendon last year, after living in the same house with her for years. She was devastated, even though she admits to seeing the signs that something was up. Like the brand-new suit that appeared in their closet just a week before the event. Give me a break!
Now, I am not saying this could not happen to me. But it's hardly likely. You see, I approach all human beings from a position of distrust. I do not trust any living thing with two legs, a brain and the ability to think ... especially when it concerns love relationships. People can pretend to be who they think you want them to be in order to get what they want.
Mental six-month probation
So I always make my position clear the minute I decide to have a relationship. I do a mental six-month probation (getting-to-know-you) and I always do a thorough background investigation without his knowledge. I dig, probe, search, question and double-check till I am satisfied he is legit.
Yes, I ask everybody close to the individual about him. I even go as far as to have my cop friends help in the process. I do not like surprises ... good or bad, neither do I like to be made to look like a fool. So, you will never hear me saying, "I had no idea he was married." That is poppycock. I don't care if I remain single. Not everyone was meant for marriage, but I must maintain my sanity.
Perhaps next time Silverstein should check his woman's body language. Hear what she is not saying, look at her facial expressions. If he was more caught up in wedding plans (so she says) than to see that, something was wrong.
Do you know of any case where the man or the woman fooled each other and ended the relationship for a secret lover? Email:email@example.com