Q Doc, my wife and I are in our early 30s, and we still have not solved the problem of how a woman can achieve an orgasm during intercourse.
We have read what you have written in your column, and we are aware that there is some special position that helps a woman to climax. But we do not know what it is.
Could you please explain, Doc?
A Sure. The position you are talking about is called 'the CAT'. That name has nothing at all to do with feline animals. The letters just stand for 'Coital Alignment Technique'.
This is a method of having sexual intercourse that was invented around 24 years ago. The idea is that the couple lie in the bed in such a way that there is a lot more pressure on the woman's clitoris. And that pressure is supposed to help her to orgasm.
But I must tell you frankly that the CAT position does not work for everyone. Also, it is quite difficult to do, and needs a lot of practice. Nevertheless, for some couples, it does provide an answer to the age-old problem of how to help a woman achieve an orgasm during intercourse.
How to do it
Your wife should lie flat on her back on the bed, with legs apart;
You enter her laying on top then shift your body up to the top of the bed.
For couples of average height, this means that your chin should be somewhere around the top of her skull.
You should be up so far that her mouth is about the level of your neck.
The effect of all that is to ensure that the base of your male organ and also your pubic region are several inches higher up her body than they would normally be. Because of this, those parts of you are actually pressing firmly against the region of her clitoris.
So that as you begin thrusting or rocking, her clitoris is stimulated by the base of your penis, and also by the region of your pubic hair. With luck, this repeated pressure on her most sensitive zone should help her to achieve an orgasm.
You can find out a lot more about this technique by typing the words 'CAT position' into Google. Amazingly, you will find no less than 219 million entries, though admittedly a few of them are nothing to do with sex, and are intended for people who breed cats. There are also some reasonably accurate videos, which you and your wife should study.
I certainly hope that this position helps.
Q I am 30 years old, and have suddenly developed very bad period pain each month. I asked a health worker about it, and she told me I was suffering from 'dysmenorrhoea'.
But what is this condition?
A The word 'dysmenorrhoea' just means period pain. So I am afraid that is not a diagnosis at all.
Clearly, something in your reproductive organs have changed in the past few months. There are various possibilities, including:
Endometriosis - a common condition among women in their 30s;
Pelvic inflammatory disease - due to infection acquired in the past.
You should not just wait around and hope it will get better on its own. My advice to you is to see a doctor, preferably a 'gyno', as soon as possible.
Q My wife and I are trying to have a baby. We have reached the stage where a doc has helped her identify her monthly 'ovulation day'. So I suppose that is quite good.
Only problem is that when the ovulation day arrives, she expects me to perform instantly! She calls me up at the office, and demands that I return home and have sex with her.
Doc, I find this very difficult. I am not some kind of performing animal! There have been ovulation days when I just could not do it. I came home from the office, and could not get an erection at all.
In fact, on a few recent occasions, I actually refused to return home, and told her I was too busy at work. Unfortunately, this led to a big fight.
Any suggestions, Doc?
A I have every sympathy with you. As you say, men are not performing animals or machines, and you cannot be expected to produce sperms 'at the drop of a hat'.
Your wife really should realise this! Why not show her my answer?
However, it does occur to me that when your wife ovulates, the need to have sex is not quite as urgent as you both may think. As long as you do it within around 12 hours of the time when she ovulates, that's good enough.
I have one more suggestion which might help on those days when you cannot get a good enough erection. Why not ask a doc to prescribe you some Viagra for use on those occasions? I once had a patient who was in the same situation as you, and a small supply of Viagra tablets helped him to produce a son.
Q I recently got married to a young man who used to be my toy boy. I have just one concern, Doc. He wants to have sex with me morning, noon and night!
Sometimes we do it three times per day, which makes around 21 times for the week.
So doc, will all this sex hurt me in anyway?
A None at all. So if you re enjoying it, carry on.
Q Is there any diet which would prevent me from getting prostate problems when I get older?
A At the moment, we know of no diet that would help. Sorry.
Q I want to get pregnant, but sometimes my period is three weeks apart, and sometimes six.
When would be the best time to try, doc?
A For most women, the best time to conceive is around two weeks before your period would be due. But obviously, in your case, you cannot forecast which date your period will commence.
Therefore, I think your best move would be to buy an ovulation kit from a pharmacy.
Using this should help you pinpoint the day.
Q I greatly fear that my wife is cheating on me, and that is driving me crazy, Doc!
A few times recently I have come home from work and decided to have sex with her.
And then I noticed what I think is the odour of another man's fluid on her body. Is that possible? And should I accuse her of infidelity?
A This sounds pretty crazy to me. It would not be possible to detect the smell of another man's semen unless it had only been there for less than around five minutes.
So I suspect that you are in the grip of irrational jealousy. Maybe you should get some help from a professional counsellor or doctor.