The uproar in Parliament last week left many shaking their heads at the conduct of their elected officials.
I say 'their' as opposed to 'our' because I didn't vote for any of them. But anyway, truth is, I found the whole thing quite hilarious. Apart from the flawed moves of Deputy Speaker Lloyd Smith and the misconduct of people like J.C. Hutchinson and (wouldn't you guess) Everald Warmington, the biggest uproar was Hutchinson's 'fish' statement directed at Raymond Pryce.
Hutchinson later said the aquatic term had nothing to do with the gay connotation with which people immediately associated it. To my understanding, 'Hutch' is saying it's about ranking/status within the House and all members, once they 'jus come' are tiny fish; the older and more experienced they get, they become whales, sharks etc. Not sure if I believe that's exactly what he meant, but give him the benefit of the doubt.
Now if we are to follow the St Bess MP's logic, that would mean Gordon House is full of sea life! We should probably change the name to Gordon Aquarium or Gordon's Seascape. So that would make all the inhabitants sea creatures. For Prime Minister Portia Simpson Miller and Opposition Leader Andrew Holness, though, I'm not sure what species to give them. Both are the leaders of their respective schools, but it's hard to say which form of marine life is the 'king' of the ocean. So I shall just put them down as sea deities and leave it at that.
I'm guessing first-time MPs like Arnaldo Brown, the aforementioned Pryce, Mikael Phillips and Damion Crawford would be sprat. You know, very small fish. Although judging by the younger Phillips' physical structure, he seems bigger than that. By the way, if he's a sprat, then his father Dr Peter Phillips would be a king tuna, like the ones they catch on Discovery Channel. Veteran MPs like Karl Samuda, Pearnel Charles, Roger Clarke and Dr Omar Davies would be a group of whales. Whatever species of whale they are, they would have to be bigger than Hutchinson who, compared to their years in the house, is more a snapper than a whale.
Lisa Hanna, Natalie Neita-Headley, Shahine Robinson, Babsy Grange et al would be angel fish I suppose. Or maybe dolphins. Yeah that's it, beautiful, graceful, intelligent but know how to handle themselves in a fight. Warmington strikes me as a shark (seemingly always on the attack). And then the various backbenchers I guess can just serve as coral reef. What? It's still marine life; they just don't swim around like everybody else.
Honestly, though I maintain that until our politicians start throwing furniture and punching each other, that little soap opera still can't compare to the aquariums of parliaments abroad.
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