Doctor, I am 26 and engaged to a very attractive man. I love him - or I did 'til last week. You see, the other day I came home early, and found him in the bedroom, trying on one of my dresses!
This was a terrible shock for me. Am I right in thinking that it means he is a secret homosexual?
You may be surprised when I tell you no. Most people assume that if a man dresses up in women's clothes, he must be gay. But that is not necessarily so.
Sex experts have found that a lot of these men are actually heterosexual. In other words, they like women and want to have sex with them.
Admittedly, there are some homosexual men who like cross-dressing. There have been several well-publicised incidents of 'gay transvestism' in Jamaica recently.
But there are many other men who are straight, yet they get some sort of thrill from donning women's clothes.
In trying to come up with an answer, some psychologists have suggested that when the man was very small (say, two or three years old), he got some kind of sensual pleasure from the feel of his mother's clothes.
That may be true. But whatever the reason, these men have a powerful drive to put on skirts and blouses, and even bras. From past medical experience, I can tell you that it is difficult to persuade them to stop doing this.
You could try and persuade your fiancÚ to see a therapist and maybe that would help him. However, I am not sure that this therapy would work.
I must tell you that in some countries, notably the United States and France, there are women who willingly marry cross-dressing men. Apparently, husband and wife then spend happy evenings together, wearing dresses.
I am a doubtful whether this
solution would appeal to you. So if your fiancÚ wants to go on with his
transvestite habit, you may perhaps have to tell him 'goodbye' and look
elsewhere for a partner.
Doc, I had a lot of sex when I was young. Will this give me prostate trouble when I get older?
No. Sex does not cause any problem with your prostate. There is considerable scientific evidence suggesting that sexual activity while young helps to keep prostate problems away.
I am 33, and I am fed up with having my monthly periods! How much longer will I have to put up with them?
Most women reach menopause between the ages of 48 and 51. So you have quite a few years to go!
However, if you really want to get rid of your monthly cycle, you could take some hormone treatment from a doctor which would more or less stop them altogether.
Is it true that some types of underpants are healthier for a man?
I have also heard that tight pants can be bad for one's sex life.
Well, tight 'jockey-style' undershorts do increase the temperature around the male genitals - especially in a hot country like Jamaica. The rise in temperature makes you more liable to get fungus infections that so many men get. These are characterised by itching and flaky skin at the top of the thighs. So it could be said that 'boxer-style' pants are better for you than tight ones.
As it relates to sex, there is no evidence that tight underpants are bad for your sex life. However, fertility experts do think that these very warm shorts could lower your sperm count slightly. So a man who is trying to get his partner pregnant should definitely consider wearing boxer-style pants.
Hi, Doc. I'm a little worried. I have noticed little boils keep coming up on my private parts. This has been happening for a while now, and it's painful. Is it an STI?
I am not sure which sex you are, but whether you are male or female, these are not the symptoms of a sexually transmitted infection (STI).
Many persons, particularly women, get small boil-like swellings in the roots of their pubic hair. I suspect this is what has been happening in your case. But you really need to have a doctor take a good look at these boils. It should be possible to diagnose and treat them immediately.
I am a happily married man, but 30 years ago, when I was in my teens, I was somehow persuaded into a brief episode of sex with another male.
Could this have given me AIDS? I feel pretty healthy.
If this really was 30 years ago, that would mean 1982. At that time, there was no HIV or AIDS in Jamaica. And the virus was pretty rare in other parts of the world.
So I think that you can forget all about what happened in your past.
I was reading your article earlier this month, in which you said that mumps can make a man sterile. I had mumps when I was young.
Does that mean that I could never be a father?
No, that is not correct. Mumps affects the saliva glands in the face. Sometimes, and I stress 'sometimes', it can also attack the sex glands.
But when that happens to a boy, he gets very bad pain and swelling in the testicles. If that had occurred in your case, you would certainly remember it because it would have been very painful.
So sounds like you have nothing to worry about.
Is it OK to use 'baby oil' as a sex lubricant, Doc?
Yes, provided that you are not using condoms. Baby oil does a pretty good job of lubricating the vagina and/or the breasts.
But, and this is very important, it can make holes in condoms. That is not a great idea.
I am a 45-year-old male and I find that when I want to have sex with my partner, I can't get a good erection.
I do have erections before we try to do it. But as soon as soon as I am ready to have intercourse, it goes 'flop'. Also, when I try to put on a condom, I lose it immediately,
I am OK when I masturbate. Please tell me what to do.
The fact that you are all right when you masturbate, but lose the erection as soon as you try to penetrate a woman suggests that there is a strong anxiety component here. That theory is supported by the fact that you lose your erection whenever you try to put on a condom.
But you may also have some physical problems, like slight narrowing of the tubes that supply blood to the penis. For that reason, you should see a doctor for a full check-up, including tests for diabetes. Good luck.