The Soloist, Contributor
They say if you live long enough, you will see and hear everything. It is obvious I still have a lot of living to do because hardly a week goes by that I don't hear something that totally cracks me up. Like this story last week:
A wealthy Nigerian businessman was 'raped to death' by five of his wives because he was paying too much attention to the sixth one.
Nigerian Uroko Onoja was having sex with the youngest of his spouses when the remaining five are reported to have set upon him with knives and sticks - and demanded that he have sex with each of them too.
Mr Onoja went on to have intercourse with four of his wives in succession, but 'stopped breathing' as the fifth was making her way to the bed in Ogbadibo, according to Nigeria's Daily Post.
Two women have been arrested following the incident in the state of Benue last week, said the report, which used the term 'raped to death' to describe the businessman's fate.
Can you believe this? I laughed so hard, I cried. But I am disappointed by the fact that the rapists ran off to the forest to hide from their murderous act. They should have stayed around and be allowed to give lessons to future wives about how to take what you want and to future husbands on how not to have more wives than you can satisfy.
Apparently, men from societies that practise polygamy are allowed to take as many wives as they can financially afford. But someone forgot to tell them that women need a lot more sex than men are prepared to handle! Anyway, Onoja is just like Jamaican men; the only difference is that in Nigeria the men actually marry their multiple women whereas here in Jamaica, they marry one and keep many on the side (usually hidden from each other). And, as far as I am concerned, all men are the same when it comes to younger women - they will grab one over the older more experienced women any day. Either way, 'craven choke puppy'!