Fri | May 25, 2018

He can't take me out to dinner

Published:Monday | October 8, 2012 | 12:00 AM

What does a woman do when her 'boyfriend' can't even take her out to dinner because he has someone else? We at the Flair asked, why does she bother? Have her morals gone through the window? Doesn't that sort of relationship hurt her heart? We listened to the story of Shauna, who has never had a relationship such as this.

Shauna has been dating her partner for over five months, but they can't take walks together, have drinks with mutual friends, or even go out to dinner.

Why? He has another girlfriend. But it's a little more complicated than that.

The 32-year-old entered the whole thing innocently. They exchanged BlackBerry Messenger pins and started messaging each other. The sparks began to fly.

He told her that his relationship had recently broken up, but soon after he found out his ex-girlfriend was pregnant. But he assured Shauna the relationship was over.

Low-keyed celebration

His birthday came. He said he wanted to it to be low-keyed, so there were no visits, just a couple of messages. In one of the conversations, she discovered he was relaxing at a hotel, out of town, alone.

The bells of mistrust went off. Eventually, she discovered he was still with the ex-girlfriend. However, Shauna didn't break off the relationship. She was already attached.

However, they have never gone out together. He picks her up and takes her to his house. These visits always require prior notice. But they never go anywhere else.

His child has not yet been born, but she hopes things will soon change. She hopes the point will come where they will have a regular relationship, because she loves him.

At times, hopelessness and frustration takes over and she breaks down in tears. But when he assures her of his love, everything is OK.

Shauna never pretends this situation is right, but she knows she loves him.

Name changed to withhold identity.