Warmy and the public offender
André Wright, Opinion Editor
Even political warmongers can meet Jesus on the Road to Damascus. At least that's what one might believe having heard Everald Warmington fulminate with righteous indignation about the sacrosanctity of constitutions.
Now you might be forgiven for questioning, like the prophet Ananias thought of Saul in the Book of Acts, whether the Good Lord has a glitch in his database. After all, Warmy the Warmonger generally seems better suited to play alongside Shebada, Jooky Jam, Delcita and Bad Bwoy Trevor. And Jamaica's narcissist-in-chief has never scorned an opportunity to make himself the story.
This Everald Warmington, so passionate about the constitution of the Jamaica Labour Party that he would seek an injunction from the Supreme Court, is the same hypocrite who flouted the Constitution of Jamaica, which is far more important and fundamental.
Warmy the Warmonger, now speaking in tongues, dropping kinpuppalick and summoning fire and brimstone from the heavens, fooled the country into believing he was fit and proper to be re-elected member of parliament for South West St Catherine in 2007.
Our narcissist-in-chief so cherished his United States citizenship that he was willing to breach the Constitution of Jamaica to insert himself illegally into Parliament. Warmy has never claimed ignorance of the constitutional proscription of his eligibility. But Bruce Golding's calculated web of deceit in a bid for parliamentary power was more important. After all, being MP gives you access to the pulpit (Remember Miss Lou's 'Uriah Preach'?) to rail against constituents that if 'dem fresh demself and demonstrate, me as MP will slow up di wuk'.
Warmy the Warmonger did not confess easily in his Damascene conversion. He admitted to being a dual citizen only after his other imposters in Parliament, Daryl Vaz, Gregory Mair, Michael Stern and Shahine Robinson, were dragged to court over their non-eligibility.
Five by-elections cost this country and its taxpayers an estimated $100 million or more. The five also collected millions of dollars in MP salary under pretence.
Now Warmy the Warmonger, filled with the zeal of a young water-baptised believer, is quoting scripture from the party bible and champing at the bit. Same Warmy who was willing to rub out his 'foot bottom' on Jamaica's bible - the Constitution.
I'm not defending the anachronistic dual-citizenship rule which even privileges Australians and Bajans to rule Jamaica's parliamentary affairs, but as Deacon Warmy will tell you, rules are rules.
Warmy's pros and cons
Mr Warmington has stood for some reasonable causes, including protesting the profligate salaries of members of the Electoral Commission, the botched carving up of Portmore which has left some Sunshine City constituents without a vote for mayor, and guarding against CDF plundering. His knowledge of Standing Orders and committee protocol is, perhaps, unrivalled.
But, of course, he suffers from a political version of attention deficit disorder which makes him lose the plot. After 44 years as a rock-stone Labourite, he still hasn't learned an important political beatitude: deft hands trump a big mouth.
Along with my fellow taxpayers, I want Warmy and the other four Labourites to refund us the millions poured into needless by-elections. As Earl Witter would say when feeling violated, "Gimme back mi tings!"
And speaking of Mr Witter, he must tell the country whether the Office of the Public Defender is ready to lock up shop.
Two and a half years after Dudus and his henchmen were driven out of Tivoli by the army, leaving in its wake a bloodbath of 73 civilians, Earl Witter has hopscotched from excuse to excuse as to why he cannot produce a report.
After setting timeline after timeline, and breaching them with impunity, Mr Witter told this country at a press conference Monday that he was flattered that we reposed such faith in his office. That faith, I assure him, is about to be buried alongside the Tivoli dead.
The public defender has become little more than a public offender. His latest frolic is an exploration of the constitutionality of a ban on preaching in buses. Don't get ahead of yourself, Mr Witter; one cock-up at a time, please.
Mr Witter has repeatedly promised and not delivered. Perhaps representational politics would be a more suitable vocation.
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