Q. Hello, Doc. Is there any chance that sex could give a guy a heart attack?
In a young or middle-aged person, sex is not going to cause a heart attack. Among people who are older, things are slightly different because there is a very small risk that the exertion of intercourse and orgasm could provoke a 'coronary'.
I must stress that this is pretty rare. Personally, I have never seen such a case. May I add that there are a lot of doctors who feel that the health benefits of sex greatly outweigh the very slight risks. So please do not fret.
Q. Doctor, I would appreciate your advice about my husband who has just been unfaithful to me. This occurred while he was on a business trip to Miami. I am real upset about this, and I have cried a lot. Since he told me last week, I have not allowed him to have sex with me. But now he is begging me to let him start doing it again. What is concerning me, Doc, is this: Is there a high risk that he caught some kind of VD in Miami? If so, I presume that he could give it to me when I let him have sex again.
I am sorry to hear about all this. Your fears are quite justified because when husbands have been unfaithful, they do sometime bring nasty germs home with them.
Having said that, I must point out the Miami is not exactly the sexually transmitted infection (STI) capital of the world. Nevertheless, there are quite a bit of various STIs there, as there are in any big city. Also, there is some HIV.
You haven't told me exactly when happened in Miami, and maybe your husband has not informed you about what took place. Questions that occur to me include:
Was this act of sex with a professional lady of the night? If so, that would increase the chances of an STI.Did he wear a condom? Riding 'bareback' would increase the chances that he caught something.
Was the person he went with actually a guy? If so, then we would have to consider seriously the chances of HIV infection.
Summing up, it is certainly possible that your spouse may have an STI. So all in all, I think that you should continue to refuse to give him sex until he has been to a doc, has had a good check-up for infection, and has been given a clean bill of health.
My advice to you is to go to the doc with him in order to make sure that the check-up has really been done! I have known cases in which men pretended to their wives that they had been to a doctor and had been told that all was well. In reality, they were kidding.
One final thought: I don't understand why your husband has come home to Jamaica and promptly told you that he cheated on you in Florida. Most guys would have kept quiet!
So we have to consider several possible reasons why he has decided to confess to you. These possibilities include the following:
Please write to me again if you feel I can be of any further help.
Q. I am a guy in my 30s, and recently I have been passing quite a lot of blood in my urine. Could this be some sex infection, Doc?
No. It may be just a bladder infection, often called cystitis. However, it could possibly be something more serious, such as a growth in the bladder. So you must see a doctor urgently, taking a specimen of your urine with you.
Q. Doctor, I am rather concerned because I have noticed that one of my testicles 'hangs' lower than the other. Could this be a sign of cancer?
No, it couldn't. In most
males, one hangs slightly lower than the other. So you are quite normal.
Q. Hi, Doc. It's my first time pregnant, and I have a little problem. I am a 27-year-old nurse, and my boyfriend is 30 years old (soldier). Both of us are together two years now, and he was the first person I had sex with. Doc, I really love him, but I am not sure if he feels the same way about me. If I ask him, he always says he loves me. But he's not the type of person to say it often.
Also, sometimes when I ask him for sex, he will say to me that we can't because we are going to church. Well, that's understandable, but I think I need more attention from him. We are not living together, but we spend some time together. We are not married either. I have met many different males that would perhaps give me the attention that I need. But I am just hoping that one day my boyfriend and I will get married and settle down. Please advise, Doc.
Sorry to hear that you have been fretting, especially as you are pregnant and have to cope with thinking about your baby. Incidentally, you will see that I have slightly altered your personal details, so that you will not be recognised.
This business of guys declaring their love and saying I love you is a tricky one. Many males are very undemonstrative, and find it embarrassing to say those famous three little words. I hope that in the long run, your boyfriend will gradually become more open about his feelings, and more willing to acknowledge what I hope is his genuine love for you.
However, I am concerned about the fact that he appears to have made no move towards marriage, or even towards living together with you. This is slightly worrying, as it does suggest a certain lack of commitment on his part.
Do you think he is happy about the pregnancy? Or does he perhaps feel 'trapped' by the fact that you are carrying his child? One thing that I think you MUST do is to make sure that he doesn't have any other relationships. For instance, it would be real bad if he turns out to have a wife tucked away somewhere!
You are approaching a most important time
in your life when you will give birth. Before that happens, I feel you
should ask him to give some proof of his commitment to you - and to the
baby. So please ask him if he will come with you to a relationships
counsellor. The idea of this would be for the two of you to discuss your
relationship, and to make sure that you both agree about where it is
going. Good luck.