It's time for the fourth annual Domino Awards. These awards are named for the Kooky Khast of Kharacters from my teenage days around the domino table. These people taught me from an early age that one can learn from every single person with whom one comes into contact.
The Dunce, who fell from a tree and hit his head as a child, lived in his own world with his don't-worry-be-happy motto 'if a macca, mek it jook yu', ensuring a stress-free existence. The Beast was timid yet loyal and dependable to the core. Awards earned on the international scene ('farrin') come first. Next week, the highly anticipated local winners will be revealed.
Please remember these awards, like the entire series of Tuesday columns, are mostly intended to be humorous. Don't get your knickers in an uproar or send irate emails about how much I've disrespected your personal hero. I don't care.
The (International) Dunce Award: For running the most asinine campaign for United States president ever, MITT ROMNEY wins on a canter. Proving only that his pollsters hadn't read a census since 1958, Romney told Latinos to self-deport; advised Hispanics, the fastest-growing minority, that his economic plan to benefit them would raise middle-class taxes to pay for tax cuts for the wealthy; failed to comprehensively deplore Todd Akin's 'legitimate rape' or Richard Mourdock's 'even pregnancy from rape is what God intended' atrocities; told women he'd work to overturn Roe v Wade; and told gays that marriage was between a man and a woman, no debate.
Who'd he expect was left to vote for him?
Then, he dug his heels in on election night; kept his shoes tightly laced up so as not to smell defeat; and refused to concede for almost two hours after every TV network, including Fox News, had called the president's re-election.
Mitt, all I can say is, 'if a macca, mek it jook yu ... .' And it sure did.
The (International) Dunce-Move of the Year Award: In a record-breaking feat, MITT ROMNEY sweeps the awards for dunces. From his multiple entries, the winning gaffe was his dismissal of 47 per cent of the electorate as idlers and leeches. At a US$50,000-a-head fund-raiser, Romney brazenly told his audience that 47 per cent of Americans "don't pay taxes" and "are dependent upon the government; ... believe they are victims; ... believe the government has a responsibility to care for them; ... believe they're entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you name it. That that's an entitlement. And the Government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what."
out of touch
In other words, in response to allegations that he's out of touch with the common man, Mitt's attitude is: "Piss on the common man from a lofty height. He's a parasite who won't vote for me anyway."
Well, in 2012's ironic moment winner, exactly 47 per cent voted for Mitt. One more time, Mitt: 'if a macca, mek it jook yu ... .'
The International Personality of the Year:
This year's winner is Egyptian President MOHAMMED MORSI, whose brilliant political strategy and statesmanlike approach to leadership has been the surprise of the millennium. He wasn't even his party's first choice for presidential nominee but a back-up in case (as happened) the military-controlled courts derailed the candidacy of The Brotherhood's favoured, more charismatic, leader Khairat el-Shater.
Despite this and despite a narrow election win, Morsi has moved quickly to establish himself as a no-nonsense leader without a personal agenda. He resigned from The Brotherhood; ensured all factions were represented in government; took on former military rulers frontally by forcing powerful defence minister, Field Marshal Mohamed Hussein Tantawi, army chief of staff,
Morsi has been a central figure in the recently negotiated Israel-Hamas ceasefire. A short time ago, The New York Times reported:
"In two days, Mr Morsi recalled Egypt's ambassador to Tel-Aviv, dispatched his prime minister on a solidarity mission to Gaza, called President Obama, the European Union, the United Nations and the Arab League for support, and even publicly instructed top generals to inspect air bases and prepare land defences near the Gaza border. He
Take a bow, Mohammed Morsi.
Peace and love.
Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Email feedback to email@example.com.