Wed | May 23, 2018

Coping with the loss of one's mother

Published:Tuesday | December 18, 2012 | 12:00 AM

Q.  My mother died last month and my friends told me that I must not talk about it if I want to forget. Is this true? I am 17 years old.

A. Once all is okay with you mentally, you will never forget that your mother died. Talking about your loss can help with the healing process. It is important that you realise that you need to move on with your life. You can continue to have a positive and successful life and still keep the positive memory of your mother as part of you. I encourage you to see a counsellor to cope with this loss.

Poor emotional competence keeping me unemployed

Q.  I am a college graduate and was told that my poor emotional competence is keeping me from getting a job. What can I do to help myself?

A.  Emotional competence is having the ability and awareness to determine how people are feeling. You need to think about how you respond to others when they are happy, sad, or angry. Poor emotional skills can limit you from being a great team player. I am recommending that you see a counsellor or a psychologist who could guide you to develop your emotional competence.

8-y-o fashionista

Q. My eight-year-old daughter is very conscious of her body image. She is a cute child, but walks like a model and talks about clothes a lot. Is this normal?

A Today's eight-year-old girls are very aware of many things. Remember that as parents, we talk about the importance of how a child looks possibly more than we realise. Your daughter may also be influenced by other girls at school. Let her enjoy this fun phase of her life. Watch her and ensure that she spends as much time doing homework as she may seem to looking in the mirror.

Orlean Brown-Earle, PhD, is a child psychologist and family therapist. Dr Brown-Earle works with children with learning and behaviour problems throughout the island and in the Caribbean. Email questions to, or send to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston. Responses to concerns are to be considered as general as cases shared with psychologists privately would be queried more deeply. Pray always!