By Orlean Brown-Earle
All my son wants to do is dance. At 18, I thought he would have moved on by now. What am I to do? He practises several times a week with friends and performs at concerts from time to time.
You need to make it clear to your son that while he is waiting for his big break, he needs to be realistic about his basic needs for food, clothing and shelter. If you did not earn to provide these things, he would not have them. Encourage him to be helpful around the house by giving him specific tasks and remind him that earning is a good thing; and he needs to get a skill that will help him to be independent, while he is waiting on a breakthrough in the entertainment arena.
I am concerned about my 10-year-old nephew. His parents have separated three years now and his mother, my sister, is still bitter and says bad things about his dad while he is there. I have tried to tell her that this is unhealthy for her son. Will she ever stop?
You need to encourage your sister to see a counsellor or a psychologist, who will help her deal with her separation concerns. Let her know that you will go with her to the counselling session(s). Please keep praying for a breakthrough for her.
How can I get my son to go to evening classes and get his CXCs? I cannot afford a full-time programme and he says that evening classes are for dunces.
Remind your son that you are doing your best to help him with the limited resources that you have. Let him know that he has options. He can stay home and not be successful or he can go to classes and give himself the chance to be the best he can be. Ask your pastor or a close friend whom he respects to encourage him.
Orlean Brown-Earle, PhD, is a child psychologist and family therapist. Dr Brown-Earle works with children with learning and behavioural problems throughout the island and in the Caribbean. Email questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or send to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston. Responses to concerns are to be considered as general, as cases shared with psychologists privately would be queried more deeply. Pray always!