The Soloist

I can't believe we are actually facing another severe drought. But I do believe that our leaders and the technocrats at the National Water Commission (NWC) still haven't a clue as to how to provide us with adequate water supply. Like I said before, I am still waiting to see the much-touted 11 or more wells scattered across the Corporate Area, fixed and filled for the days that are not rainy.

Seriously, folks, you'd think politicians would want to be remembered for doing something worthwhile. I would vote forever for anyone who accomplishes this. Water forever. No more lockoffs. That's a thought. I am getting carried away; I forgot that politicians are not inclined to think about solutions to voters' problems. All they care about are strategies (read lies) to get them re-elected every four years.

And on the subject of people who do rather than talk, I will certainly miss Dr Heather Little-White. I will miss the positive nature of her approach to life. She always made the time to call me every now and again to offer some advice and encouragement. So I am now wondering why she had to die. Life is unfair. I can think of at least 50 other people right now who the world could do without. Her life could be spared, but God knows best. May her soul have a peaceful rest.

Lies at funeral

And on the subject of the dead, I recently attended a funeral service and the tributes were such that almost everyone started to ask in church who was the subject of the high praise. For all I know, even the deceased might have been chuckling in the coffin to hear what was being said about her.

I have often told my friends and relatives that when I die, no money should be wasted on lavish funeral arrangements and, most important, I do not wish to have a funeral service lasting longer than 45 minutes from start to finish. I would ideally prefer that everyone gather at the burial spot, sing all my favourite hymns, listen to a pre-recorded summary of the cold, hard facts of my life; cut the crap and put my remains in the grave!

Don't bother pontificating about my virtues when you know you hated my guts and I more than likely hated yours right back. I will record the facts: "I was a woman who spoke her mind and did some good for my fellowman. I worked hard to earn my spot in Satan's Jacuzzi. I lived, loved, laughed and enjoyed animals more than people, and I am well aware that you are all glad to see my demise."

That should give everyone fodder for nine days.Have an honest week.

lifestyle@gleanerjm.com