Q Doctor, I suppose you will disapprove of me, but in many ways I am a happy man. I have two loving and very lovely women, who live at opposite ends of the island. One is near Negril, and the other lives in Portland. The nature of my work takes me between both communities.
This arrangement has been going on for several years. Neither partner knows of the existence of the other. Perhaps fortunately, I do not have children by either.
What I am asking you, doc, is two things. Firstly, am I doing either woman any harm as it relates to sexually transmitted viruses or other infections?
Secondly, how do you think these women would react if they found out about each other? Sometimes I am tempted to tell them.
A I really don't think you should do that! But to begin with, let me deal with your question about health risks, viruses and infections.
I have to admit that your 'arrangement' is probably quite safe, provided that none of you decide to have sexual relations with anyone else. You have been in a triangle with these women for so many years and all of you have presumably remained healthy.
So my conclusion is that it is probable that none of you have any venereal infection. However, that could change rapidly if either woman takes a lover, or if you slept with another woman. Such an occurrence could easily inject chlamydia or some other 'bug' into what is already a complex situation.
Now you ask me what would happen if either women found out about the other. Well, women usually react very badly indeed to the idea of a 'threesome'.
In your case, I think there is every likelihood that one or both 'wives' would get very mad if they found out what you have been doing. What would probably cause a lot of trouble is the fact that you have been deceiving them for so many years, while you have been running two homes. You must have told them a lot of lies, and they would be justified in being furious about that.
So I don't think that you should just inform them about each other's existence, and hope that all will be sweet and dandy. It won't! You may even have to deal with violence from one woman or both.
As you all get older, concealing both women is going to become increasingly difficult. So my advice to you would be to consider settling down with just one of these woman - perhaps marrying her if she agrees. This course of action would reduce the chances of fuss and trouble. It would also be safer healthwise for everyone.
I was unfaithful
Q Doc, I have done something very foolish. Two weeks ago, I was unfaithful to my husband by having a one night stand with a much younger man.
Now my monthly cycle is a day overdue. I am 43. Could I be pregnant ? Or am I too old?
A You are definitely not 'too old'. And unfortunately, it is possible that you have conceived from your brief affair with this young man.
From what you say, the 'timings' is about right, as you could possibly have been ovulating on the day of the one night stand.
However, there are other possible explanations for the lateness of your cycle. For instance, you could be just starting menopause. Or the delay may be due to stress and you worrying.
If it still has not arrived, then you must do a pregnancy test right away. I wish you well. But I suggest that whatever happens, in the future you stay away from that young man.
Can I give my wife cancer
Q Can I ask you a question about sex and prostate cancer, doc? Unfortunately, I have just been diagnosed with this condition, though I understand it is 'mild'.
What I want to know is whether it is safe to continue having sex with my wife? Or could I give her cancer by doing that?
From the day I was diagnosed, which was a month ago, I have not had sex with her. She is not happy about this, doc, as she is a very passionate woman.
A I hope you have explained to her the reason why you have not been having sex with her! If you have not already told her, please do so now.
However, I have some good news for you. It is perfectly ok for a man who has prostate cancer to continue having sex with his partner. There is no way that he can transmit the cancer to her.
Can I be fitted with a coil?
Q I have never had children. But could I be fitted with one a coil? I need some protection because I have just fallen for a wonderful new man.
A Congratulations. Yes, the intrauterine device (IUD, coil) can be inserted into a woman who has not had children. However, the insertion does tend to be rather more painful because the passage through the cervix is narrow.
There are other methods of contraception, and you could talk to your own doc about these.
Have i contracted an infection?
Q Last week, I met a beautiful woman while on a business trip to New York, and I had sex with her - bareback. Next day, I had considerable swelling and itching of my male organ. The skin was darker, and kind of puffy.
I am thankful to report that all these symptoms have now disappeared. But do you think this was a sexually transmitted infection STI, doctor?
A Doesn't sound like an STI, but there is a chance that the reaction could have been caused by a yeast.
However, it seems much more likely that this was an allergic response. It's unlikely to have been an allergy to the woman herself, or to her secretions. My guess is that you reacted to some chemical which she had placed in her vagina - maybe a spermicide, which some women in the United States still use as a form of contraception. Or she could have put some sort of fragrance or perfume in that area.
The important thing is that everything now seems to be ok. Nevertheless, I think you should have a check-up, just to make sure that you are ok.
I don't get the impression that you are likely to see the beautiful New Yorker again. But if you do, then you should use a condom.