Tue | Jan 15, 2019

Doctor's Advice - The painful side of pleasure

Published:Saturday | February 16, 2013 | 12:00 AM
  • The painful side of pleasure

Q. Doctor, not long ago I met a very good-looking guy age 19. He seemed charming and sexy. He was interested in me and told me I was beautiful. Two nights back, I went out with him. Kissing him was exciting. After a few drinks, I went with him to his house, and when we got to his room, I let him take my clothes off. By the way, I am on the Mini-Pill, Doc. I was looking forward to enjoying some good sex with him. But unfortunately, things did not turn out exactly like that. To my surprise, he had several sticks and canes on the bedroom wall. He made me lie on my face and started hitting me across the buttocks with one of these. I told him I did not like it, so eventually he stopped. Then he had sex with me in the regular way. It was OK, but my bottom was hurting so much that I did not enjoy it. Afterwards, he was quite nice to me, and walked me home. He wants to take me out again next week. He promised me a great time. What do you think, Doctor? Is there something peculiar about this boy?

A: You bet there is! This guy is quite clearly a sadist. In other words, he gets sexual pleasure from inflicting pain on others. It is very typical of such men that they want to flog girls' bottoms before having intercourse.

You may find it surprising to hear that there are some women who are quite happy with men who whip them or beat them during sex sessions, but most females do not feel that way. And it does not sound as if you are content with this sort of behaviour.

Also, I must warn you that some sadistic guys may start behaving even more viciously as time goes by. They could inflict more and more pain on their partners, until they do some serious injury. Indeed, sadists do occasionally kill people. So my blunt advice to you is to tell this boy goodbye. If you value your health and welfare, do not agree to date him again.

  • 'Jammed' testicles

Q. Doc, I think that one of my testicles gets kind of 'jammed' inside my body. Is this possible? I am 18 and have not had sex yet, but I have normal sexual interests and desires. I like girls a lot! But the problem is my right testicle. Usually, it is in my scrotum, although it hangs a good deal higher than the left one. However, when I get sexually excited, it comes a long way upwards. It seems to disappear inside my body. Quite often, it remains in the body for several hours. Often, I can feel it under the skin of the belly. And that is painful, Doc.

A: I am sure it is. Let me begin by explaining a couple of things about testicles. It is normal for them to hang at slightly different levels. In virtually all males, one testicle is a fraction of an inch higher than the other.

Also, it is normal for them to 'ride up' during sexual excitement. In most guys, they travel upwards so that just before orgasm, they are fairly tight against the body.

However, they should not go inside the body. What is happening in your case is that your testicle is disappearing into a sort of tunnel, which is called the inguinal canal. That is not a good thing because if the testicle gets stuck in there, it can easily be injured. Also, having a testicle in this position might affect your fertility.

What all this comes down to is that you urgently need to consult a surgeon, preferably the kind called a urologist. He will probably suggest that you have a minor operation to tether the testicle in your scrotum. This procedure is nothing to be afraid of, and you will be glad that you had it done.

  • Re-attached foreskin

Q. If I agree to have a circumcision, which is what my parents want, would I be able to keep my foreskin in a safe place somewhere, like, in a fridge? I ask this because I would like to know that if I changed my mind one day, I would be able to have it re-attached.

A: I am puzzled by the idea that it is your parents who want you to have this operation. You should not be forced into it against your will. If you go ahead with it, then it is very likely that the surgeon could let you keep the foreskin in a little glass specimen jar filled with preserving fluid. That is an unusual request, but some patients do like to keep little bits of their bodies as souvenirs!

However, there is absolutely no possibility that this piece of skin could ever be reattached to you if you changed your mind. It would be dead tissue, and, therefore, impossible to use again.

  • Will the Pill kill my sex drive?

Q. Will the Pill take away my interest in sex, Doc? I am a 20-year-old female, and I am planning to give my virginity to the guy I love. But first, I feel I had better get myself some contraception.

A: A good plan. You really need not fret about the possibility that the Pill might take away your sexual desire. Remember: tens of millions of women throughout the world use this method of contraception. That would not be so if the Pill was harming their libidos.

Admittedly, research has shown that a very small number of females complain of lowered desire while on the Pill. But when that happens, it is easy to switch to a totally different brand of Pill. Such a change often does the trick.

In reality, young women who go on the Pill very often become more interested in sex because of the simple fact that they know that they can now enjoy sexual relations without any real risk of becoming pregnant.

  • Will the Pill affect my menses?

Q. What effect does the Pill have on a girl's menses, Doc?

A: In general, the oral contraceptive makes periods

  1. Shorter
  2. Lighter
  3. Pain-free (or nearly so).

These are valuable advantages for many young women.

  • Can't make my fiancée discharge?

Q. I have rubbed and rubbed at my fiancée's clitoris, or what I assume is her clitoris, but with no effect. I cannot make her discharge. What am I doing wrong, Doc? Or is she abnormal?

A: Well, women are not machines, you know! You cannot just press a button and expect them to discharge. For everything to work properly, the circumstances have to be relaxing and romantic.

Furthermore, it may be that your fiancée is so young that her body has not yet learned to orgasm. Recent research has shown that many younger females do not climax till they have been having sex with a caring partner for two years.

However, it could be that you are simply rubbing the wrong place. I suggest that you and your fiancée consult a sympathetic female doctor who can show both of you exactly where the clitoris is.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.