Thu | Apr 26, 2018

'Talk it out'

Published:Wednesday | February 27, 2013 | 12:00 AM
Dr Yvonne Bailey-Davidson, consultant psychiatrist. - File

Livern Barrett, Senior Gleaner Writer

Persons involved in relationships that are falling apart should avoid casting blame and open up to a trusted friend, two psychologists have suggested.

According to one of the psychologists, who spoke on condition of anonymity, these measures will help individuals and families deal with the pain associated with a failed relationship.

"When inter-personal relationships fall into hard times, you find that all different sides of people come out," she told The Gleaner yesterday.

As a result, she said, discussing the failed relationships with a pastor, counsellor or a friend will help "to get the emotions out".

"Part of the problem is that people are bottled up ... Just like you have a Pepsi bottle and you shake it up, the cap will blow off after a while," she explained.

"If you express (yourself) that should help with healing the wounds," the psychologist continued.

Time to grieve

Psychiatrist Dr Yvonne Bailey-Davidson said persons involved in relationships that are failing should also take the time to grieve, asserting that the absence of a loved one can be hard to handle for some persons.

"Because people are so attached to each other it causes a lot of emotional pain and depression," Bailey-Davidson said.

"So I would say they need to get a lot of counselling to deal with the grief and separation," she added.

The concerns come in the wake of two separate incidents that occurred in Trelawny and Clarendon between Monday and yesterday.

In the first incident on Monday a former member of the Jamaica Defence Force is alleged to have open fire on the relatives of his common-law wife in Bryan Hill, Ballard River, Clarendon.

The woman, who has been identified as Tamara Fearon, managed to escape with a gunshot wound, but her mother Maxine Fearon, was killed in the incident.

In the other incident, two-year-old Tessone Mullings and four year-old Chrisanne Mullings, were reportedly killed by their father Kenville Mullings after a dispute with their mother in Wait-A-Bit, Trelawny.

Kenville Mullings later killed himself.

It is reported that the woman moved out of the home she shared with Mullings and returned to her parents in Manchester and he went there hoping to persuade her to return home.

The psychologist who spoke on condition of anonymity said she believed Kenville Mullings decided to end his own life after realising what he had done to his own children.

"I think that's why it ended up in a suicide because to live with that type of guilt over something that could have been resolved would have been too difficult, I think," she opined.