Janet Silvera, Senior Gleaner Writer

WESTERN BUREAU:

Most men will call Patrick Parchment a traitor. Some will curse him for dishing the dirt on them. Others may just thank him for opening their eyes in his book Better Men are Made by Women.

The 2007 publication, which was officially launched last Wednesday, is dedicated to Parchment's daughter and the many women who wish their fathers had told them more about men and intimate relationships.

The book highlights how to get married and stay married, promotes positive fatherhood and has been described as a cunning and credible must-read - a guide to the development of new courses at University of the West Indies (UWI), and a guide for counselling.

"This book will help us to be better advocates for change, while serving as a resource for the Ministry of Health," said Dr Leith Dunn, head of the Institute for Gender and Development Studies at the University of the West Indies, Mona.

Dunn gave the keynote address at the launch, which saw female students out in their numbers supporting the man who they have affectionately tagged 'Parchie' the bus driver, as he transports them and literally lives in the UWI, Mona, Western Jamaica Campus (WJC) library at nights, researching content for his books.

Better Men are Made by Women is Parchment's third literary piece and can be found on Amazon.com. His second work, is titled, Yes you Can Begin Again and his latest is an e-book, American Agenda Beyond 2012.

Best authority

His critics might ask what gives him the authority to speak on such subjects. But he has the best authority - experience, coming out of a failed marriage after 20 years.

"If you are in a relationship and after 20 years it can't work, it needs investigating." That is exactly what he did in order to write this spine-tingling, informative and controversial book.

The father of three, two boys and one girl, he said his research has educated him to the extent he understands clearly that women need a reason to have sex, "But all men need, is a place."

His book gives women the handle on their intimate relationships, empowers them to create intimacy, fulfilment and positive changes themselves, rather than rely only on love to make their partners better.

"Through the wealth of male insider information in this book, women will begin to feel more in touch with their intimate relationships, kick the frustrating sense of disconnection and uncertainty which comes when they are not sure they are doing the right thing to stimulate the man in their lives," said Parchment.

He credits those who are able to report a 50 per cent success in their relationships, he describes this as "awesome", and those who can have a 70 per cent success rate, as "being in heaven".

He points out that women can create their advantage in an intimate relationship.

He was also quick to explain that men tend to be in relationships enjoying whatever is there, while the fairer sex pays a lot more attention to intimacy. Not shy to reveal things that women may not have considered before, Parchment gives examples of relationships that may break up, yet the only thing that may make them get back together is if the sex was good.

Men, he said on the other hand, can motivate a superwoman and keep her satisfied, once he is able to help her keep her balance, which is a challenge that the superwoman faces.

For both sexes

He argues that men who buy his book for the women in their lives will benefit. "If it's even the chapter that says, 'Better Men and Better Sex are Inseparable'," he notes.

"I say that to help women to understand that men are more focused on sex," he qualified, adding that Better Men are Made by Women was not against men, as it can help men too, to understand women.

Dunn concurs, stating that Parchment has really explored and deconstructed intimate relationships, giving the male perspective on a number of issues that will help young women to understand, women of all ages as well as men.

"I feel that the book has a lot of potential to bridge the gap between male and female," notes Dunn.

janet.silvera@gleanerjm.com