65-y-o wants to marry

Published: Tuesday | March 12, 2013 Comments 0

Q.  My 65-year-old mother is living with us and plans to get married and move her new husband into our two-bedroom apartment two lots away. She is a diabetic. This man has nothing to offer her and it is her three boys and my wife and myself who are supporting her. I am totally against it and her sons and my wife are 'so-so' about it. I have two teenage sons and I don't know how it may affect them as they are close to her. I cannot take on more responsibility. What do I do?

A.  You need to sit with your family members and share your concerns with them formally. Encourage your mother to go to pre-marital counselling so she can see the realities of her plans. Ensure that you discuss the financial implications of such a move. When your mother shares that she is serious about the wedding plans, ask her to tell her grandsons and let them know that their grandmother will still be supportive of them.

Q.  I am going to classes in the evening and the teacher will not allow my teenage son to sit at the back of the class while the session is going on. I cannot send him home alone as we live in a tough area. What can I say to her to make her understand?

A. You may ask the office staff if he can sit in the office lobby area until your class is over. Check to see if there are any homework centres that are open late where he can stay until classes are ended.

Q.  When I was younger, I was a hottie hottie. Now it has caught up with me. My daughter, 13, was molested at school by another student and, during the counselling and everything, it was found out that I gave her to the wrong man. Doctor, I was going with the two men and wasn't sure which one fathered the child. Now it is a mess. What do I do?

A.  You need to get a DNA test to ensure who is your daughter's father. In the meanwhile, work with the counsellor at the school and make sure that your daughter gets the counselling and psychological support services that she needs.

Orlean Brown-Earle, PhD, is a child psychologist and family therapist. Dr Brown-Earle works with children with learning and behavioural problems throughout the island and in the Caribbean. Email questions to editor@gleanerjm.com or send to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston. Responses to concerns are to be considered as general, as cases shared with psychologists privately would be queried more deeply. Pray always!

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