Whitney Houston put it best when she sang: "Where do broken hearts go?"
Well, Jamaican women can go to the Breakthrough to Happiness Support Group's upcoming series of workshops designed for women who have experienced painful emotions caused by broken relationships.
Flair spoke with the organiser, Olive Ellis, who is a counselling psychologist associate. "Some women are very good at wearing masks, which most times give the impression that all is well. They have learnt to 'juggle' their many roles as spouse, mother, sister, businesswoman, friend, etc, and unless they tell you, people just cannot see what is really happening inside." She continued, "It may be an abusive past or present, clogged emotions, divorce, separation, illness, burnout, loneliness, emptiness. Every woman has her story and it is the story that, if left unexposed and unheard, after a while sabotages any hope of serenity and happiness."
The workshop seeks to examine and evaluate these deep-rooted negative emotions, breaking out old patterns, blocked thinking and breaking through to start a new chapter in their lives, filled with love, hope, passion and happiness, which is the final destination.
She gave us five useful tips to help women on the road to recovery.Accept the pain. According to Ellis, "This is essential for the healing process. Women have to accept the fact that they loved their ex, that they are heartbroken and have actually begun the grieving process."
Step 2:
Break out of old patterns. "Instead of reliving the misery over and over again, thus trapping into a dysfunctional pattern of behaviour that is unhealthy, break the connections and do not do things that remind you of your ex. You will not heal if you continue to do so," Ellis explains.
Step 3:
Love yourself. "Self-love is the only way to
achieve well-being, joy and self-empowerment. The relationship that you
have with yourself is the most important one you will ever have, as this
is the path to true happiness. Besides that, if you lack self-love, you
will attract people and circumstances that are negative and harmful to
your well-being. According to the Law of Attraction, we draw to us the
manifestations of what we feel. So, in order for you to attract loving
people and circumstances, you need to know how to love yourself first."
Step 4:
Try to figure out what went wrong in your relationship. She affirmed, "This does not mean that you are going to blame yourself or your ex unfairly. Every relationship has its strengths and weaknesses. Doing this assessment will help you to grow in the future, or look for better traits in your next partner."
Step 5:
Forgive your ex.
This, notes Ellis, is a very crucial step, "This is really hard, especially if you were really hurt. This will take time, but this is the only way you will heal and be able to move on with your life, or you will be constantly thinking about your ex and how much he or she hurt you. Remember, you have to break the pattern."
The first session begins on March 23. Women who are interested in joining in on this life-changing journey to alleviate their heartache can do so by calling 829-3203, or emailing breakthroughtohappiness@hotmail.com