The Soloist, Contributor
Everyone is talking about the two Kenyan men who signed an agreement to 'marry' the same woman. Apparently, she had been in affairs with both for more than four years, but refused to choose between them.
According to the story, "The agreement sets out a rota for Sylvester Mwendwa and Elijah Kimani to stay in her house and states they will both help raise any children she bears."
One of the husbands, Mr Mwendwa told the BBC he loved the woman and said the contract would "set boundaries" and "keep the peace". Lawyers said the "marriage" would only be recognised if they could prove polyandry (a woman having more than one husband) - was part of their custom. But polyandry is not practised by any community in Kenya.
Naturally, Kenyan people have reacted with shock to the 'marriage', seeing it as unacceptable in their culture, religion or law. But in defense of the marriage, Mwendwa said while he may be acting in breach of the law, he had decided to enter into a contract with the other husband, Mr Kimani to end their rivalry.
"It could have been very dangerous if the other man would have come to her house and caught me ... . So our agreement is good as it sets boundaries and helps us keep peace," Mwendwa said. Marriage was encouraged after both were caught fighting over the woman," Mwendwa said.
What boggles my mind is the civility between the two men. They have signed an agreement to have no jealous feelings over their wife, because she does not want to let either of them go. As the story states, "Each one will respect the day set aside for him. We agree to love each other and live peacefully. No-one has forced us to make this agreement," it adds.
The woman in the middle is a widow with two children who did not want to be named.
Mwendwa told the BBC he did not marry the woman simply to satisfy his sexual desires, but because he loved her and, most of all, her children.
"I have never been called a dad and her two children call me daddy," he said.
He said he hoped to have his own children with the woman, but she would have to decide.
Now folks, that loud sound you are hearing outside is me cheering on the woman in this fantastic trinity. I am also cheering on those two men who finally realised that they are not the only ones who need two or more partners at a time. You know what? Every time I hear men trying to justify their wild nature, I ask them if they have ever seen a ship wreck the sea? As soon as they remove the silly look from their faces, they admit ... no. So then I ask, "Why are you lot trying to finish all the women in the world in the shortest possible time?"
They give it a good shot only to falter somewhere close to mid-life when their poor tired peckers fall asleep. Yes, the cock no longer crows before the alarm clocks in the mornings, and all-night romps in the bedroom become big-belly buffet, offering all you can grab before the egg timer runs out. Life is a bitch, isn't it?
So, I hope that that brand of modern living arrangement makes its way to Jamaica very soon; I would trade places with this woman in a heartbeat. However, I would like one black and one white man and I would insist that each spends two weeks of the month in my bedroom. On his off weeks, both husbands can busy themselves (preferably topless) in the yard or on the farm, working up such a sweat, his fork can barely make it to his mouth. By nightfall, he can barely lift a remote, let alone his tired backside into his bed - to sleep only to wake bright and early to do my bidding next day.
"Cheers my Kenyan sister ... Enjoy the bliss.
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