Krysta Anderson, Gleaner Writer
Jamaica is truly a land of spices and it is no different in the bedroom. Many couples aim to explore the heights of intimacy through the influence of media such as adult entertainment. But do some of these lovers take it too far?
Pornography has become a playbook for the bedroom, with many either becoming star athletes or bench warmers. According to couple's therapist Olive Ellis, "Mass media, that is television, magazines, movies, music and the Internet, helps to influence the way people learn about and view sex; as many persons take their sexual cues from the media. For instance, dancehall music in Jamaica portrays rough sex, therefore, people's brains are constantly bombarded with certain images of sex and so they believe and crave animalistic, aggressive and primal hardcore sex. On the other hand, some music portray love and sex in a positive, romantic way."
Pornography may be seen as manly, but many women use it as a point of reference to stay ahead of the game. For Lolita Phillipsand Candy Harrisadult entertainment has truly been an asset in their high-performance sex drive. Phillips noted that she indulges in viewership to "learn new things and spark the imagination and, therefore, increase creativity in the bedroom." The learning process, she says, takes her away from a boring routine and adds that flavour and excitement.
Phillips highlighted too that music puts that extra oomph in lovemaking. Music, for her, provides variety, as it creates different moods and requires different approaches; role playing too is also incorporated. "I think music enhances the experience and it helps to set the tone as well. So I will experiment with hip hop, R&B and dancehall music to accompany me on my journey of ultimate ecstasy for both me and my partner." She continued by pointing out, "It has been working for me, so far. I have gotten no complaints; it has been quite the opposite for me, so I would definitely be sticking to what I know, and learning what I don't know."
Harris agreed with Phillips that music really gives the personal experience and added touch of exhilaration. She says that she puts on a show for her male counterpart, playing the role of her superior alter ego, dominating in the 'bedroom department'.
Ellis pointed out, "Media can also have some positive effects on a couple's sex life. There are radio and television programmes designed to assist couples who are having problems or to help to spice things up in their sex lives. Also, magazines and different websites on the Internet sometimes feature articles with the view to help couples with their sex lives."
There is, however, a flip side to the playbook. In seeking to improve their 'playing' technique, many aim too high and ultimately fail in that regard. "Media portrayal of sex can cause some persons to feel pressured to live up to the 'unattainable ideals of sex'. This can cause persons (sometimes men) to feel inadequate because they cannot please their partner. A woman may feel 'less than' because she does not possess the prowess, have a voluptuous body, or is as extroverted in her sexuality as the women portrayed in the media," noted Ellis.
Aaron Carterand Victor Baughhave experienced the negative effects to the influence of media in the bedroom. Carter confessed that his former girlfriend had one day decided to experiment with a new intimate position, in order to spice things up, but it ended up working against her, "She was really trying but it was not working out for her. She ended up not being flexible enough for the positions and was unsuccessful in the execution." Eventually, she revealed to him that she was actually trying something from an adult movie that she had watched.
Victor Baugh received bodily harm in an attempt to perform 'sexual activity which included oral stimulation', "She just did not know what she was doing." Sharp objects located in the mouth were used during this oral performance, which led to the falling of the tower and the end or what was to be a romantic night.
So while it is clear that having a performance playbook increases the chances of becoming the most valuable player in the bedroom, serious penalties can get you carded or thrown out of the game altogether.
Names changed upon request