'Tech-ing' things too far

Published: Monday | December 23, 2013 Comments 0
Daviot Kelly
Daviot Kelly

Ever hear the joke about a man who defines materialistic? After someone crashed into his Benz , he came out the car crying for his wrecked vehicle. An eyewitness to the crash shouted, "Forget the car, you've lost your left arm?" After realising he had indeed lost it, the man shouted, "Damn it, my Rolex!" Now, it's highly unlikely this story is true (I'm no doctor but the blood loss he should have been experiencing might make him more dazed than that) but you get the point.

Now, a Taiwanese woman walked off a pier in Melbourne, Australia, because she was checking her Facebook page and wasn't paying attention to where she was going. The BBC says, according to an Australian Broadcasting Corporation report, the police found the woman floating on her back; she said that was because she couldn't swim. Fair enough, but what I found even more hilarious was that the police said there was no need for a lost property report because the woman "kept hold of her mobile phone throughout the entire ordeal". So the very thing that put her life in danger in the first place, was considered too precious to let go. Oh boy. Before di woman leggo di fool-fool phone and try reach land.

I can't imagine walking off a pier because I was preoccupied in the first place. But should I do so, there's no way I'm holding on to anything except my child/girlfriend/wife/relative. And if we were walking together, I'd find it hard to imagine both of us ending up in the drink. But let's say I do fall, I can't swim either but I'm going to try something more than just floating there like a piece of the Titanic. Cell phone, iPad, laptop whatever, dem a get lef! A security camera in a US mall showed a man walk into a water fountain because he was busy on his phone. Him shoulda drown too!

Apparently, I either don't need a phone or I need more of a life. There is nothing so exciting happening on my handset to leave me oblivious as to what's taking place in my surroundings. I've long heard the joke it's better if you hit a man's wife than his car. Sometimes I wonder how big a joke it really is. And whatever happened to 'you can't carry it with you'? Apparently, while I was hiding out in my mountain cave, the rules of the afterlife changed. So if you're heading for hell, carry your favourite fan. Heaven- bound? Carry your umbrella. Reports are it's very sunny up there.

Last but not least, carry your cell phone. So you can tell us what things are like before we get there. Later.

Tell me your embarrassing technology story at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com


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