And the award goes to ...

Published: Monday | December 30, 2013 Comments 0
Daviot Kelly
Daviot Kelly

It was a year of moping, allegations of doping, International Monetary Fund negotiating, bad tissue, election issues and the poor still barely coping.

Yep, 2013, has had it all. The Kelly's World Awards committee has never had a tougher time of it. But we gave it our best shot as always. So here goes.

Man of the Year: Usain Bolt. The boss delivered again when it was time to do so. A slowish start to the year, but a strong finish. Plus which other Jamaican man did anything that great?

Woman of the Year: Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce. Now I know what you're thinking - what about Tessanne? Well, here's my take. Tessanne needed persons to vote for her to win. Shelly had to use her own body and determination, no voting required.

Soap Opera of the Year: Now there were more than a few candidates for this one, but I give the edge to the Jamaica Labour Party Leadership Race. Claims, counter-claims, jabs and jibes. And that was even before Audley Shaw made it official he would be running for leadership.

Anancy Move of the Yea: The 'resignation' of the JLP senators organised by a forward-thinking Andrew Holness. You've got to admit, that was shrewd.

Icon of the Year: Nelson Mandela. Mi really need fi say nutten else! The man is doing more in death than other statesmen are doing alive

New Best Friend of the Year: Pope Francis I. I'm not Catholic, but this Pope is showing everyone what Christianity is all about.

Messy Situation of the Year: The bacteria-filled toilet-paper incident. Whenever people start thinking they may have to go back to using folder leaf and bush, you know it's bad. But don't worry, it's safe to go to the toilet again.

Didn't Know That Could Happen Moment of the Year: When Pope Benedict XVI resigned. Many people didn't know a Pope could just say "I'm done" and leave.

Telling It Like It Is Moment of the Year: R. Anne Shirley talking di tings dem about JADCO.

Disappointment of the Year: There are two. The murder rate and the road fatality rates both surpassed 2012's gains. Speaking of JADCO, the adverse analytical findings on some of our most-loved athletes was not the biggest disappointment because the cases haven't been decided.

Feel Good Moment of the Year I: Tessanne winning 'The Voice' (see mi neva leave har out). The Jamaica Tallawahs winning the inaugural CPLT20 tournament is a distant second.

Feel Good Moment of the Year II: Jermaine 'Tuffy' Anderson scoring against Costa Rica with his second touch to keep the Reggae Boyz dream alive.

Free Like Mandela Moment of the Year: Richard Azan and Shanique Myrie. Now, I couldn't separate the two because while Myrie wasn't facing prison time (unlike Azan) if the courts didn't rule in her favour, she got to know the Barbadian immigration people too well. Plus, Azan already get back the work. Myrie, to our knowledge, nuh get pay yet!

Losing Battle of the Year: The Reggae Boyz trying to qualify for World Cup 2014. Honourable mention must go to Audley Shaw in the JLP leadership race.

Probably Wished He Hadn't Moment of the Year: US President Barack Obama fought tooth and nail to get re-elected and then the Republicans promptly made sure he knew they didn't approve by shutting down the government.

Patient Man Ride Donkey Moment of the Year: This one is tied between the Vybz Kartel murder trial and the Kern Spencer Cuban lightbulb trial. Both of them seem to be going on forever and both don't look like they're ending any time soon.

The Funny But Not Funny (though it is funny) Moment of the Year: The chicken-back shortage and the dancing Roger Clarke. Now these two are tied because they both involve the loveable agriculture minister. First off, for Jamaica of all places to go short on chicken back is hilarious in and of itself. Clarke telling people to try oxtail, of all meats, is ROTFL. Then the 'daggering dancing' he was pictured doing just cements this award for him.

Good Plan But Need Work Moment of the Year: The ban on smoking in public places. I'm a fan of Dr Fenton Ferguson because, as an actual medical man, he truly looks like he knows what he's doing. But the smoking ban really needed a bit more refinement, which it has since received.

Okay that's it (whew, hands were getting tired). Here's to a less eventful 2014.

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