Warning signs of an emotionally unstable man

Published: Monday | December 30, 2013 Comments 0

Sashana Sanderson, Gleaner Writer

Have you noticed any significant changes in your partner's behaviour? Is he always looking for ways to start an argument? Does he check on you every minute of the day? These are just some of the warning signs you should consider before making any commitment to enter into a relationship.

It is necessary to look out for these key indicators that may just reveal your knight in shining armour as the devil in disguise.

Men have always been thought of as the stronger sex, but like their female counterparts, they often have some intense emotional issues. According to counsellor and relationship specialist Olive Ellis, emotional instability is very common, but often goes misdiagnosed. Simply put, an emotionally unstable individual is one whose behaviour changes significantly because of very simple events. It is a mental disorder known more popularly as emotionally unstable personality disorder.


For a man to be diagnosed with this illness, he must display at least five of the following symptoms:

Emotional/mood swings, problems keeping relationships, low self-esteem/poor sense of identity, deep fear of rejection or being alone, tendency to take risks or is suicidal, thin-skinned or ultra-sensitive to trivial things, constantly checks on you or stalks you, wants to rush into a relationship, starts to be controlling or is insecure, drinks heavily or abuses drugs.

It is very difficult to identify an emotionally unstable man. At first, he appears very charming so it becomes very easy for the woman to be swept away. It is, therefore, important that women get to know the man before committing to anything. According to Ellis, these disorders are usually a reaction to past events in the man's life. Some of the more obvious ones are:

Someone significant abandoned him, particularly a mother or the loss of a parent.

Had some unresolved issues as a child, maybe suffered some form of abuse, whether sexual, physical or verbal.

For a man diagnosed with emotional unstable personality disorder, he must admit that he has a problem and deal with it through therapy. The best advice for any woman in a relationship like this is to end it as soon as possible.

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