Sat | Oct 20, 2018

Doctor's ADVICE: Did my girlfriend cheat?

Published:Saturday | August 23, 2014 | 12:00 AM

Q. Doc, do you think my girlfriend has been unfaithful to me? We are both 19, and I love her very much. She says she loves me, but she has never been very interested in sex. For months, I tried all sorts of things with her, like breast massage and looking for the G-spot, but she never responded very much. She always said that she was just happy for me to have a good time.

Well, this year, we were apart for a couple of months when she went away on a science course in America. And soon after she came back, I was astonished to find that she had become real sexy. She started to really enjoy having intercourse with me. In fact, she showed me some techniques which she said were "good for getting girls excited". And I have to admit that they worked.

Very soon, she started orgasming. And she began yelling and groaning in bed, and shrieking that she loved me more than anyone in the world.

Doctor, I am a little stunned by all this emotion! But I must admit that it is very nice.

However, one thought is bugging me. Is it possible that when she was in the US, she cheated on me with some other guy?

Do you think that he showed her all these techniques, and taught her how to climax? I would be devastated if she had been with another man.

A.  You are obviously a fairly jealous guy. But please be reasonable. What evidence do you have that she had sex with another guy while she was in the USA?

Really, you have none - apart from the fact that she has suddenly become sexually 'turned on'.

However, you should bear in mind that young women do develop sexually. In other words, as they mature and gain more knowledge of their bodies, they change!

Often, when they are in their teens, they have little or no interest in sex but then start to develop a strong libido. Frequently, they cannot orgasm at all when they first start having sex but then develop the ability after several months (or even years).

I do not say that it is impossible that your girlfriend had an affair while she was in America. I'm afraid that these things do happen, particularly when people are away from home.

But I notice that your girl was on a science course of some sort, and it may well be that what she learned in class taught her a lot about female sexual function and female sexual anatomy. Also, it is quite likely that she learned quite a bit about sex from talking with the other young women on the course. Females can be frank about these matters when they are away together on a residential course.

I would say that the most important thing is that your girlfriend loves you. And you state that you love her. Seems like you have a good relationship going there. Please don't spoil it by getting carried away with jealousy.

Can't find my clitoris

Q. Please advise me, Doc. I am a female 18-year-old student, and although I understand that the clitoris is very important, I am totally unable to find mine.

Could it be that I don't have one? Any medical suggestion would be most welcome. Thanks.

A. The clitoris is not as big as many young people imagine. In fact, the visible part is slightly smaller than a gungo pea. It is located just where the two labia minora ('smaller lips') meet, at the top of the vulva (which is the opening of the vagina).

You can find various useful diagrams in the Wikipedia article titled 'clitoris'.

Blood in the semen

Q.  I am a guy of 17, and last week I was being given a kind of erotic massage by an older lady who I work for. To my horror, when I climaxed, some blood came out!

She was quite frightened, and thought she had damaged me. So we have not seen each other since then.

What must I do, Doc? Is this a sexually transmitted infection (STI)?

A. No, this is not an STI. You do not have any sort of infection. Almost certainly, what has happened is that a small blood vessel (that is, a blood-carrying tube) broke while this older lady was giving you a vigorous 'hand job'.

This happens quite often to young men, and I assure you that it is not 'the end of the world'. But you should go and see a doctor so that he can check out your equipment.

He may advise you not to have sex for a week or two. But most probably, the broken blood vessel will heal up soon and you will never have any trouble again. So you do not need to fret.

Excess discharge during sex

Q. I am 20, and I have a lot of vaginal discharge. This is embarrassing for me in bed, Doc.

So what could the cause of that be?

A. Well, you did not say what the colour or nature of this discharge is. But I will quickly run through the common causes for you.

First of all, it is essential to realise that all healthy young women produce a certain amount of fluid secretion each day. This is normal. The fluid varies in nature at different times of the month, and it flows most freely when the young woman is feeling romantic or sexy.

The commonest abnormal vaginal discharge is caused from yeast, also known as candida or thrush. The fluid is white and 'cheesy', and it makes you sore and/or itchy.

Also common is the discharge caused from a little parasite called trichomonas. This gives you a greenish or yellowish discharge, often with a lot of soreness.

Another condition called bacterial vaginosis gives you a greyish discharge, which sometimes smells bad, like fish. There are other causes too.

Fortunately, all these conditions can be treated. What you should do now is to go to a doctor who can examine you and tell you if you have an infection. She will probably take swab tests, and send them to the lab.

Almost certainly, she will be able to give you medication that will cure you.

Email questions to Doc at and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.