Sat | Aug 19, 2017

These people need a life

Published:Monday | September 15, 2014 | 9:00 AM

Last week, I wrote about people who need to get a life; I ain't done with that topic because the world is full of them.

First off, people who need to get a life can be broken down into various groups. There are the ones like last week, the hold-out-your-hand-and-expect-freeness type. But the ones I'm focusing on this week are the cannot-possibly-have-a-job-but-yet-seem-to group. This group is made up of many little subgroups, but particularly the people who have set up tents outside tech stores, waiting for the new iPhone to go on sale. To make it worse, some of these persons were lining up even before Apple, the makes of the iPhone, had officially announced the release date. And we think Jamaicans are 'previous'.

Now the reason I say they can't possibly have a job, is because if they did, surely they wouldn't have the time to be 'shopping' for stuff in that manner. But the fact they can afford the new phone at all is apparently evidence that they have some monetary resources. But to make things even worse, there are reports of persons who made sure they're way up in the line, but apparently have no intention of buying the phone or other latest gadget. Their role is simply to sell (yes, sell!) their 'space' to someone else. Now, two things come to mind when I hear this. One, these persons are either inventive or jus' tief. Two the people actually buying the space(s) from them are even worse because they're spending money before spending money on what they actually intend to buy.

I've seen Jamaicans scalping tickets (selling legitimate tickets to an event in the parking area of said event, albeit at a little higher price). But I've never seen Jamaicans going that crazy over the latest tech novelties hitting the market. We might pack the stores like sardines in a can, but we're not camping out. Even if we 'bomb rush' the stores, we're not waiting outside with the doorman, who is scared to fly di gate for fear of being trampled. First off, those who 'have it' to spend, nah get up so early. Dem nuh need fi reach di store as it open. More importantly, you ever wonder how those who might nuh have long pockets still have the latest gadgets? Barrel come! No waiting in store lines necessary. Heck, the more well-to-do might order it online, so they're not running to the store either.

Any time you see me waiting outside for days for something, then you know is one of two things. The first and less likely, is that there is a product I consider magnificent enough. But the more likely reason is that the pressure finally got to yours truly and I went crazy. Because there is no device that great fi tun mi inna eediat! Later.

Line up with me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com