Doctor's ADVICE:Defeating premature ejaculation
Q. Hello. I'm a guy of 20, and I have been having a serious problem of late. You see, I have been masturbating from quite a young age (maybe 14), and I think I'm now a 'premature ejaculation' patient. Doc, I would love you to help me in any way you can - preferably suggesting a form of medication that would help me with my problem. It is causing difficulties in my relationship.
A. I'm sure it is. Premature ejaculation (PE) makes having satisfactory sex very difficult. It makes women feel frustrated, and it has wrecked many young people's romantic relationships.
Let me just get that business of masturbation out of the way. As I have stated in this column before, the only way in which masturbation can harm your sex life is if you get in the habit of doing it very quickly. That tends to kind of 'condition' a guy into always orgasming very fast. And this may lead to premature ejaculation.
So if you are still masturbating, you should take care to do it only slowly, always making sure that you do not climax in less than 15 minutes. Experts say that this 're-trains' a guy, so that he starts to feel in control of his own orgasms.
Now, today, at the age of 20, you are in a relationship with a young woman and are trying to have successful sex with her. But you say that you think that you are a premature ejaculator.
Are you really? If you can 'last' for 10 or 15 minutes, then you are not. But if you find yourself accidentally climaxing after only a minute or two inside the young lady, then you definitely are.
So if you have PE, what can be done about it? Well, in my view, the two best ways of defeating it are:
The 'stop-start' technique;
The Masters-Johnson squeeze grip.
You can look up both of these on the Internet, but essentially, they are ways of helping a guy to get full mental control of his ejaculations so that he doesn't have to discharge until he is really ready to do so.
Now, you ask me to suggest a form of medication. That is quite tricky because there is actually no medication that will genuinely cure a guy's PE.
However, there are quite a few medications that a man can use that will 'delay' him on that particular day. They are:
Antidepressant drugs: Some doctors in Jamaica will prescribe these pills to guys with PE because of the fact that certain antidepressants make it difficult to reach a climax. The one that is most frequently prescribed is called Anafranil (also known as Clomipramine). Please bear in mind that its effect lasts only for a day or so, and it does have side effects.
Dapoxetine is a drug which is related to the antidepressants. The idea is that you take it two or three hours before sex. Potential side-effects include headache, nausea, dry mouth, dizziness, and 'operations'. There are now some pharmacies in Jamaica that will obtain it for you, but it is expensive.
Local anaesthetic creams and sprays: The idea is that you put them on your penis before sex, thus dulling the sensation you feel. That sounds like a great idea, but there can be problems. First, you may develop a painful 'sensitivity reaction' to the drug.
Second, the local anaesthetic may dull your partner's sensation, too! And it could give her a sensitivity reaction.
Condoms containing local anaesthetic: These are slightly preferable, in my view, because at least the local anaesthetic is inside, so it is unlikely to affect the girl. To find out more, type the words 'Long-last condoms', on Google.
I wish you well, young man!
Q. Doc, last week I had sex with a guy for the first time in my life, and I did not enjoy it at all. I thought it was messy and uncomfortable. It hurt me a little and I was slightly sore for the next few days. It certainly as wasn't exciting as I had expected. What does all this mean, doctor? Am I, perhaps, a lesbian?
A. I very much doubt it. Like a lot of young women, you have now discovered that 'first sex' isn't as wonderful as it's alleged to be.
Often, it is painful, damp, and frustrating. Very frequently, it is over before you know that you've started!
But cheer up! In some years from now, when you have established a loving relationship with a guy who knows what he is doing, you will find sex a delightful experience.
Just at this moment, there are two things I would like you to remember:
1. You may be pregnant, so if your menses don't arrive, please do a pregnancy test;
2. The guy may have given you chlamydia, or some other sexually transmitted infection, so if you have any doubt, go and get yourself tested for STIs.
Email questions to Doc at firstname.lastname@example.org and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.