Thu | Jan 17, 2019

Don't fight back, victim told herself

Published:Wednesday | December 3, 2014 | 12:00 AM

Twenty-nine-year-old Nicky, who was raped by a male while on a date five years ago, said she did not report the matter to the police because she feared she would have been blamed.

"I had a friend who was a police officer, and I called her and told her what happened, and she said, 'You shouldn't have gone to his place. It is going to be your fault'," said Nicky.

She said she started grappling with lesbian tendencies when she was young and started having relationships with girls when she was 21.

On the night of the incident, she recalled being out with a group of female friends at the movies when, in the middle of the show, a guy she had been putting off for months called her.

"He said, 'I want to take you to dinner. Let's go out'. So I said, 'I am out with my friends'. But I left my friends to go out and have dinner with this guy," recounted Nicky.


After the meal, he decided he wanted to take her to his house. She consented after he promised that no sex would be involved. Nicky said she had no interest in men; however, upon reaching his house, he insisted that he wanted to have sex with her.

"I don't know how to go on a date with a guy. I don't know how to act - I feel awkward; I feel like I am putting on a show," she explained.

"I was like, 'Why is this happening to me?'. It's like I was just standing out of my body watching it (the rape). I couldn't do anything. I couldn't say anything. The only thing I could remember was saying, 'Don't fight back' because I have been told that if you fight back, you will get hurt more," she said.

Although she didn't go to the police, Nicky said she went to counselling for six months and has been trying to put the horrible experience behind her. She believes the incident drove her to become more open with her sexuality.