Dear doc: My sexy holiday job
Q: Doctor, my husband, like everyone else in our community, thinks that I am a decent, respectable member of society. They believe that I am incapable of wrongdoing. But they are mistaken.
The fact is that, twice a year, I go off on what is supposed to be a visit to my relatives in America. But the truth is that I do not have any family in the United States.
In reality, I go and stay with an old school friend of mine. She has become pretty well-off through running a kind of escort service in her city. Men contact her when they want female company.
You may wonder what I do during my little holiday with her. Well, Doc, the truth is that I work part-time as one of her escorts.
I am sure you know what that means. Men call the firm, and if they ask for a beautiful, big lady, then my friend sends me. Sometimes I get to have dinner with the man, which is usually kind of fun. But invariably, I end up in bed with the client - sometimes for an hour or two, but often for the whole night.
I admit it sounds sordid. But I usually enjoy myself, and the money is very good. Also, because this is a high-class agency, I have not had any trouble with men who get violent or nasty.
My problem is that my husband is starting to ask me more and more questions about my relatives in the US. And he is a little puzzled by the fact that I always come back from holiday with more money than I started out with!
What do you think I should do? Should I drop him a hint about what I do in the US?
Also, I'm worried about how this lifestyle might affect my health. Next time I return from one of these trips, should I have a blood test done?
A: I must say that you are leading a really dangerous existence. As far as I can see, the possible hazards which you risk are:
If the American law agencies catch up with you, you and your friend could get arrested;
You could get deported;
You could very easily catch one of the half-dozen veneral diseases which are very common in the American city that you visit;
Though you describe your friend's escort agency as high-class, you could wind up getting beaten (or worse), as that is a well-known occupational health hazard for women of the night.
In addition, there is the fact that your husband may get very mad if he finds out what you have been doing! Men can become violent if they discover that their wives have been engaging in prostitution.
So, let me answer your questions:
1. No, I do not think you should hint to your husband about what you have been up to.
2. Yes, I do think you should have health tests, but right away, rather than when you next return to Jamaica.
Also, you need more than just a blood test. You should have swab tests on your most intimate areas, as well as urine tests. And if you test positive for anything, you must have treatment. Also, your husband may well have to do tests and have treatment.
As you can guess, I think you should give up this crazy-but-lucrative holiday. It is much too dangerous for your health and safety.
Q: I am a 32-year-old man and I am a virgin. I have only ever had oral sex (of both kinds) with women.
Now I am getting married and my fiancée wants me to have a complete health check-up before she will have sex with me. Is this really necessary, Doc? Can one catch sexual infections from oral sex alone, without any intercourse?
A: Yes, that's very possible. Particularly as you have given oral sex to your past girlfriends, you could have chlamydia 'bugs' in your throat.
So, yes, do have that check-up and some tests before you start engaging in any intimacy with your fiancée.
Q: After giving birth three months ago, I was fitted with a coil. Since then, I have had a couple of heavy menses. And they are painful, which I have not experienced before.
So please tell me, Doc: is everything OK?
A: Probably. The intrauterine device (IUD or coil) does tend to make the menses heavier. And it can sometimes make them painful.
But your coil was only put in a short time ago, and it may be that everything will settle down. However, if in a few months' time you are still getting heavy and/or painful periods, you should go back to the doctor. She could give you some medication, or perhaps take the coil out and replace it with a different type.
Q: I am a divorced man and I have just acquired a wonderful, sexy and beautiful girlfriend.
The only problem is that, when I have sex with her, she does not orgasm. Why is this?
A: Well, there are various reasons, but a likely one is that you are not paying any attention to her clitoris. As I have pointed out in this column before, penetrative sex (that is, intercourse) is not very likely to make the average woman climax.
Most women also need quite a lot of stimulation of the clitoral area to make them orgasm. Please talk to your partner about this, and ask her what she wants.
Q: I am a 33-year-old female and I have been trying to conceive for two years! To my shame, I must admit that, when I was 16 years old, I had gonorrhoea.
Could that be the reason why I have been unable to have a baby?
A: Gonorrhoea (the clap) is notorious for causing infertility in both men and women. In the case of women, it often blocks the Fallopian tubes. That makes it impossible for the man's sperms to get to the egg (the ovum).
I am not saying that you definitely have blocked tubes, but that is a possibility. What you should do now is to go (with your partner) to a doctor. She can examine you both and arrange the necessary tests to find out why you are not conceiving.
Q: I am a man in my late 50s, and I have a girlfriend who is much younger than me. Recently, I have experienced difficulty in having sex more than once in an evening.
Should I try Viagra?
A: What you describe is normal for a man in his late 50s! Maybe you should just accept that.
However, it is just possible that your doc might be willing to prescribe some Viagra for you. Talk to him about this.