Thu | Dec 8, 2016

Dem think Obama easy!

Published:Sunday | December 21, 2014 | 12:00 AM

Carolyn Cooper, Contributor

CHAKA-CHAKA SPELLING

Mi no know wa di Republican dem a go do wid Obama. Dem meet dem match. Look how long dem a nyam up demself over im. Obama a president fi more an six year. An it burn dem. Dem can't mek up dem mind fi dis cease an seckle. Di mad one dem a stick out seh Obama no born a Merica. Dem force im fi ha fi show dem im birth cerfiticket. An all now, some a dem still no satisfy.

Obama naa pay dem bad mind. Im dis a gwaan do weh im ha fi do. One a di big ting im do a fi gi poor people health insurance! White, black, brown. An di bad breed Republican dem a fight im down. Dem just no waan spend no money pon health insurance fi everybody. All when it work out cheaper than fi pay fi poor people go a emergency room. It look like dem Republican never hear seh prevent better than cure.

Not fi mention wa Obama a do fi di whole heap a people dem weh no got no paper fi gi dem leave an licence fi tan eena Merica! Bout 11 million a dem dis a bob an weave. Ascorden to Obama plan, dem deh people can turn citizen ef dem prove seh dem a no criminal. Dem ha fi pay tax, dem ha fi wait an go a di back a di line, an dem ha fi learn English. Di Republican dem waan run dem outa di country. No matter seh some a dem a pikni weh di deh fi di whole a dem life.

An no figet how Obama did sort out di car company dem when autoclaps tek dem! Obama know seh im couldn't mek dem deh company crash. Too much smaddy woulda no a no work. Im put nuff govament money in a GM an Chrysler. Sixty-two billion dollar! An a so di company dem ketch up back demself. An a di said same way Obama deal wid di bank dem weh did out fi shut down. But im never spend no govament money pon dat. Im get private company fi put een fi dem owna money.

CUBA AN MERIKA MEK UP

One a di biggest ting Obama do a fi mek Merika gree back wid Cuba. Wat no happen eena 53 year happen eena one day. Obama dis seh a time fi done di foolishness. It no serve no purpose fi cut off Cuba. Berlin Wall bruck down an Soviet Union mash up. Di Cold War done, done, done. Mi know seh dat a no di whole a di story. Plenty politics di deh. Merica still a defend democracy an a fight down communism.

But Obama know seh yu ha fi think bout people, no so-so politics. Tings well hard fi poor people eena Cuba. From Soviet Union bruck up, Cuba a struggle. Venezuela did help dem out plenty-plenty. But all Venezuela eena trouble. Oil price a drop. An a di oil money Venezuela a depend pon fi run di country. So dem no have no money fi a gi Cuba.

A now money a go run eena Cuba! Politics or no politics. Nuff Merican tourist a go go deh. An nuff business a go open up. Di Republican dem must a swell up, ready fi buss. Mek dem gweh! Johncrow nyam out dem conscience. An Obama no done wid dem. Im a go gi dem nuff more headache before im time done. Im a go lef one hell of a legacy. Rispek due!

PRAPA-PRAPA SPELIN

Mi no nuo wa di Ripoblikan dem a go du wid Obama. Dem miit dem mach. Luk ou lang dem a nyam op demself uova im. Obama a prezident fi muor an siks ier. An it bon dem. Dem kyaahn mek op dem main fi dis siis an sekl. Di mad wan dem a stik out se Obama no baan a Merika. Dem fuors im fi ha fi shuo dem im bort sorfitikit. An aal nou, som a dem stil no satisfai.

Obama naa pie dem bad main. Im dis a gwaan du we im ha fi du. Wan a di big ting im du a fi gi puor piipl elt inshuorans! Wait, blak, broun. An di bad briid Ripoblikan dem a fait im dong. Dem jos no waahn spen no moni pan elt inshuorans fi evribadi. Aal wen it wok out chiipa dan fi pie fi puor piipl go a imorjensi ruum. It luk laik dem Ripoblikan neva ier se privent beta dan kyuur.

Nat fi menshan wa Obama a du fi di uol iip a piiipl dem we no gat no piepa fi gi dem liiv an laisn fi tan iina Merika! Bout 11 milyan a dem dis a bab an wiiv. Azkaadn tu Obama plan, dem de piipl kyan ton sitizn ef dem pruuv se dem a no kriminal. Dem a fi pie taks, dem a fi wiet an go a di bak a di lain, an dem a fi go laan Ingglish. Di Ripoblikan dem waan ron dem outa di konchri. No mata se som a dem a pikni we di de fi di uol a dem laif.

An no figet ou Obama did saat out di kyaar kompini dem wen aataklaps tek dem! Obama nuo se im kudn mek dem de kompini krash. Tu moch smadi wuda no a no wok. Im put nof govament moni iin a GM an Chrysler. Siksti tuu bilyan dala! An a so di kompini dem kech op bak demself. An a di sed siem wie Obama diil wid di bank dem we did out fi shet dong. Bot im neva spen no govament moni pan dat. Im get praivit kompini fi put iin fi dem uona moni.

KYUUBA AN MERIKA MEK OP

Wan a di bigis ting Obama du a fi mek Merika grii bak wid Kyuuba. Wat no apn iina fifti-chrii ier apn iina wan die. Obama dis se a taim fi don di fuulishnis. It no sorv no porpos fi kot aaf Kyuuba. Borlin Waal brok dong an Suoviyet Yuuniyan mash op. Di Kuol Waar don, don, don. Mi nuo se dat a no di uol a di tuori. Plenti palitiks di de. Merika stil a difen demokrasi an a fait dong komyunizm.

Bot Obama nuo se yu a fi tink bout piipl, no suoso palitiks. Tingz wel aad fi puor piipl iina Kyuuba. Fram Suoviyet Yuuniyan brok op, Kyuuba a chrogl. Venizwiela did elp dem out plenti-plenti. Bot aal Venizwiela iina chrobl. Ail prais a jrap. An a di ail moni Venizwiela a dipan pan fi ron di konchri. So dem no av no moni fi a gi Kyuuba.

A nou moni a go ron iina Kyuuba! Palitiks ar no palitiks. Nof Merikan tuuris a go go de. An nof bizniz a go opn op. Di Ripoblikan dem mos a swel op, redi fi bos. Mek dem gwe! Jangkro nyam out dem kanshens. An Obama no don wid dem. Im a go gi dem nof muor ediek bifuor im taim don. Im a go lef wan el af a legisi. Rispek juu!

Carolyn Cooper is a teacher of English language and literature. Visit her bilingual blog at http://carolynjoycooper.wordpress.com. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and karokupa@gmail.com.