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Kelly's World - What are they teaching these children?

Published:Monday | December 22, 2014 | 12:00 AM

I was left scratching my head last week when I read the Weird News section of The Star newspaper (good stuff, trust me).

Quoting a story from Britain's Daily Mail newspaper, 1,000 children were asked various questions related to the Yuletide season by London's Brent Cross Shopping Centre. Their responses were, for me, troubling. One-fifth of them thought Jesus Christ played for Chelsea, 52 per cent of them thought Christmas Day was Santa Claus' birthday and 35 per cent believed Jesus was born at the South Pole. Others thought Jesus was a contestant on X Factor. Pupa Jeezas if yuh nuh busy, come tek a walk!

Where do I begin? First off, the children polled were between five and 12. So I am hoping the more curious answers came from the younger ones. Any 12-year-old pickney weh really answer dem foolishness deh, need help ... quickly! Based on the results, I'm beginning to wonder what exactly is being taught in these children's homes? It's one thing if the house isn't a Christian-centred one, to each his own. But at the very least, they don't even have any historical clue about who Jesus was? Whether you believe he came to save the world or not, historians, at least, agree he existed. So wha dem pickney yah a read? But dem know 'bout X Factor? A dem tings deh gwaan when TV a raise di pickney dem!

Wha di parents a teach dem? Wha di schools a teach dem? Nuff players from Latin America inna di Barclays Premier League so if dem tink Jesus might be a forward from Brazil on one a di teams, dat bad an' nuh so bad. But in this day and age, pickney still believe inna Santa Claus? So they believe it's more plausible to believe in Santa, a fat man delivering presents from a sleigh being pulled by flying reindeer, than about a sovereign being who came to save humanity? Oh dear. A friend of mine posted a photo of her younger son sitting on Santa's knee at some holiday event. The little fellow was not having any of it. Him bawl! I agree with him 100 per cent. I was never into this thing 'bout siddung pon strange man lap fi tell him wha mi want fi Christmas. Foolishness! Mussi dat's why mi neva get nutten from Santa yet!

Like I said near the beginning, some of the responders were as young as five, and I'm sure I would have given some eye-popping responses at that age too. But I would like to think I was less clueless than that. I take some solace in two things. They're young so there's time for them to learn more about the world. And two, the 1,000 children surveyed may not be a true reflection of all of Britain's pre-teens (God forbid).

By the way, any child of mine come to me with this Santa business deh pon dem own. Ho ho ho mi boxcover! Later.

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