Wed | Jan 23, 2019

Ain't no love in this

Published:Sunday | January 11, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Cathy Risden, Lifestyle Writer

"Mary and John sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love ... ."

That's a sentiment most children are taught while growing up. But is that really the case? People often mistake making love with just having sex. The difference might not be easily identified, so here are some clear-cut indications to tell if the one you're with is just using you to blow off some steam.

Only comes over at night.

When it's a booty call, you are only called at 10 p.m. or later asking if you can come over around midnight. Many believe that the other person is just really busy during the days or maybe they just were not horny then.

Doesn't want to go out anywhere or eat together. You guys have never been on a real date.

They do not want to be seen in public with you, so they keep their distance. Every time you make suggestions for them to go out, they have something to do or somewhere to be.

Always finding an excuse not to go anywhere - 'I don't go out', but almost every weekend, they are out with their friends. Staying at home saves money and sometimes is safer, but there is a whole world outside of the bedroom.

Never talks or wants to hear about family or friends.

If you have not been introduced or know their family or even their friends, and it doesn't seem like it's going to happen any time soon, it might just be sex. And if they show little or no interest in knowing about your family life, even if you are troubled about something and just want to talk, it is certainly just for sex.

Phone conversations or text messages are always sexual.

It's OK to 'spice up' your relationship with sexy texts and photos, but if it's the only thing you do and do not talk about other social things, it is only about getting into your pants.

After sex they take a shower and send you on your way - No sleepovers or they make it difficult - Always hands you everything before you leave.

If they only come over midnight, have sex - normally you want to rest a bit and maybe talk, but around 2 a.m. they want to go home or want to send you home, don't expect anything to change.

You only meet at places where sex can occur - every time they see you, it's about sex.

This one is pretty straightforward.

You only have one of their three cell numbers and when you talk it's only to set up a sex time.

If you are always initiating communication and he only answers his phone on his terms, and never returns your calls ... Enough said.

Always 'busy' whenever you text about something personal or emotional.

Guys who just want you for sex aren't going to spend time playing the boyfriend.

They never bought you anything - not even on your birthday and/or always insists on splitting the cost.

Keep your eyes open for any indicator