Tue | Jan 22, 2019

God hates divorce (Part 1)

Published:Monday | January 26, 2015 | 12:00 AM

The Gleaner recently reported on the high level of divorce within the nation. Recognise that the divorce rates of a nation reflect the spiritual and natural state of the nation.

The family is the first line of government; and if the family is failing, then now we know why the political leadership is failing also. So both the Church and the people of the nation should use this information as the catalyst in their determination to rebuild families within the nation. The economy ought not to be the sole focus of rebuilding a nation. When you focus on building families, then you are equipping them to make right choices. Making right choices is the centre of economics! Everyone is talking about the economy while families are being destroyed, not realising that without the families, there will be failed economies!

Malachi 2: 16 specifically states that God hates divorce. It affects every fibre of a nation - it increases crime and pollutes one's spirit! Divorce brings a negative impact on a nation and even produces unholy seeds!

From a national standpoint, much of the attacks against families stem from decisions made by political leaders, church leaders and the private sector, including gambling, legalisation of certain narcotic drugs, decisions on sex education, flexi-week implementation, divestment and poor management. The global media are also contributors to the breakdown in marriages - everything is X-rated and it is right in view of our children and the people.

On a personal level, there is the need to look also at communication. Good communication is the key to sustaining a marriage. One must try to be a friend first before there can be a healthy marriage.

Cultural differences

In addition to all this, the integration of varying cultures plays a role in many of the misunderstandings that take place in marriages of this nature. In parts of the Middle East and Africa, marriages are held in higher esteem and treated with greater respect than in the West. They usually seek their leader to know if the person is the one God wills for their life. Additionally, each spouse knows his/her role and there is no competition regarding submission. Even more so, something as simple as parents having to give the blessings before any marriage can take place is honoured. Choosing the best man/maid of honour has nothing to do with friendships, but everything to do with mentors and role models - thus a married couple with strong values and a good marriage is selected to stand with the couple to be married as their best couple. After the marriage, the best couple would be their first line of counselling if needed.

Here in the West, the attitude is 'if I feel I love you and want to marry you, nothing else matters'. That is not the biblical way. The biblical way is that God chooses the person, they both seek the Lord to see if that is the person He has ordained. Then God puts it within the spirit of the man and he will approach her and her family. Then after approval of her parents and his, then negotiations and counselling will take place. Take note that it is the man who must do the pursuing; not the woman! The woman gives the confirmation. The man's decision must be based on God's instructions and choices, not what he feels or her looks or name! If the man gets the wrong 'rib', then there will always be issues and many wrong choices will be made.

Each person must know their role within the marriage. The man is the prophet, king and priest of the home. So he has to make intercession for his family daily, feed, nourish and cherish her with the spiritual food. He has to rule with integrity and holiness as a king and prophesy good things over his wife on a daily basis, meanwhile protecting her from the onslaught of the enemy (Ephesians 5). He is given the authority to name things and to bless (Genesis 2: 18 - 24).

The wife is the helper, meaning she is his strength for all he is called to be and to do. This is not the 'you only stay at home and cook and clean' helper. This is the helper that is positioned with him so that both can fulfill a greater purpose as one! Adam/man alone was inadequate. The wife complemented him in all that he was called to do. He needed help in his daily work, procreation, support, companionship and even in spending his money.

Marriage comes with favour. When the marriage is terminated, that favour goes. Fight for your family!