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Kelly's World | Think baby a joke ting

Published:Tuesday | August 8, 2017 | 12:00 AM

We know life isn't fair, that's just the way it is.

But if it's one thing I don't mind is that women go through childbirth and men don't.

Yea, women still get doors opened for them and they get first preference with the lifeboats if the ship is sinking.

And I don't envy them (much) for those.

But I cannot imagine another human being, albeit a really small one, exiting any area of my physique.

So that is one privilege (and it is a privilege to bring a child into the world) that I will not begrudge the females any time soon.

My hats off to women every time one gives birth. Salud!

Now, there are many things that scare me in life, and one of them is babies.




Now, I am aware that fear could have different connotations. It could mean I'm afraid of the responsibility that comes with taking care of a child.

It could mean I fear taking on the challenge of raising a child, especially in these times.

Or it could mean I just have a phobia stemming from watching the Rosemary's Baby too many times.

But mercifully, it's none of the above.

My fear with babies is that they are sooo tiny (at least compared with other human beings), that I wonder if any little sharp movement will twist their spine.

What can I say? Being a pessimist definitely has its drawbacks.

When my cousins were small I worried constantly about dropping them, so I never volunteered to hold any of them until they were at least a year old.

Actual conversation. "Dave, would you like to hold (insert name of now grown cousin)?"

My response: "Nope. I don't hold them when they're that small."

Had to cradle a couple of cousins before they got to the one year mark, and though none of those occurrences lasted for more than five minutes, they were long five minutes.

Couldn't wait for their parents to take them.

But in my defence, we've heard and seen so many stories about the fragility of life when it's still in the womb and not long after it's exited, that I think I'm justified in my pickney paranoia.

Even when they're still inside the womb I'm nervous.

I feel nervous if I have to drive around with a pregnant woman in the car. I wonder if putting the AC up too much will hurt the little one inside.

Accelerate a bit because I think I can make that traffic light? Not with big belly beside me.

A safe pregnancy is truly a blessing, I tell you. So that's why it annoys me so much when I see pregnant women doing crazy things.

But remember, folks. Being a good parent (and yes, fathers, I'm including you guys, too) is hard work.

Plenty of people think they have it figured out; they don't. Not. Even. Close.

So you got through the pregnancy. Good. You made it through the delivery room with you and the baby (or babies) in one piece. Great.

But that's just the beginning, my friend. Strap yourself in and enjoy the ride.

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