Wed | Jan 26, 2022

Kelly's World | Long-line drama

Published:Monday | April 1, 2019 | 12:00 AM

I really understand why people don’t like joining lines at tax offices and other places.

But to be totally honest, a part of me likes joining lines because quite frankly, Jamaicans are entertaining people; you’re sure to hear and see some crazy stuff.

Few weeks ago, I had the ‘pleasure’ of waiting in the express line of one tax office. For the record, it was about as fast as me running the 100 metres.

But anyway, the first thing that struck me was one woman who was talking about Armageddon and how overseas people are just using microchips in their skin to do business.

What I found interesting was that the man she was speaking to seemed to be only half (at best) interested.

“You not reasoning with me, man?” she said, apparently realising that she didn’t have his full attention.

Kinda reminds you of a preacher on a ‘slow’ Sunday, don’t it?

After that ‘sermon’ ended, I noticed a woman higher up in the line, twiddling her fingers. Would you believe she was actually knitting?

A di fuss me ever see dat! I can understand that she expected to be in the line for a while, but somehow I didn’t think she would finish the sweater or whatever it was before she got to the cashier.

To top it off, after completing her transaction, she nearly tripped over the thread! Mi nah lie, mi woulda laugh.

Hilarious Phone Conversations

Then you had the people who have the most hilarious conversations on their phones.

People are always guessing (often inaccurately) about how long they’ll be in the tax office, or they’re always asking if the person on the other end did memba fi buy something or get di ting for somebody else.

Of course, in any line, there are those who try to get the jump on everyone else by ‘trickstering’ their way as near to the front of the line as possible.

Some are quiet how they go about it. The dude on the day I went to the tax office was anything but.

“A all di way back deh so mi haffi go?” he asked, the answer being brutally obvious to even Stevie Wonder.

Cutting the Line

But soon enough, I saw him ahead of me. I thought of saying something but I figured he may have been offered a spot by someone who couldn’t wait any longer.

But my suspicions were, however, confirmed by an older gent who, like me, wasn’t going to make a big deal of it.

Don’t worry, the ol’ tief got his comeuppance when, having done his one allowed transaction, he still had more papers in his hand.

So the cashier rightly told him he had to head to the back of the line to do any more. Served him right!

By the way, who’s the most unfortunate person in any express line? The one who, having got to the front, then hear that they have to join the general line (which is usually much longer).

That day, the line was so long, the old guy who this plight befell might still be in the tax office. Ay sah.

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