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Don't forget to make your spouse feel special at Christmas, says family therapist

Published:Tuesday | December 19, 2017 | 12:00 AMJodi-Ann Gilpin

The Reverend Dr Carla Dunbar, marriage, family, and sex therapist, is advising married couples to employ wisdom as they shop for the Christmas holiday while ensuring they still take the time to make each other feel special.

Dunbar said couples must remember that the success of any relationship goes beyond expensive gifts.

"I'd want us to apply both common sense and wisdom and not go overboard for the holiday. If you are looking at gifts, like me, I don't wait until Christmas to start shopping for my husband's gift. I bought my gift long before December. I would encourage persons to do the same," she said.




"Also, go with your heart rather than the price of the gift. You don't have to always go out for dinner. Each year, as a rule for the past 15 years going 20, we would go to a different resort. However, there was one year when we just moved into our house in July and our anniversary was in August, so we couldn't afford to go anywhere that year. We didn't allow that to dampen our spirits and we did something very nice at home, and to this day, my husband says it was the best anniversary."

The pastor also said nothing should be seen as more important than making one's presence felt in the home.

"The Bible says we are supposed to be good stewards and we are to use money well, because in the economy that we live in now, it makes no sense to go overboard during the Christmas knowing that January is usually seen as a hard month. Our own personal touch can be more appreciated than the gesture of going out," Dunbar said.

"Another thing that couples need to do is to know what their partners love. It makes a difference when you are able to bring a smile to their face when you see your spouse enjoying what you have done for them. You have to take time to know your partner's desires."

She added: "Don't forget the use of technology. Send some nice messages because you can't just connect in the night. Not saying you should steal the boss' time, but you do get an hour's lunchtime; send a little love note, do something special. It's the memories which will make a difference."