Doctor's Advice: Are these guys crazy, Doc?
Q: Hi, Doc. I am a 19-year-old female and I would like your fatherly advice about men and why they are so strange.
So far, I have dated four different boys and there has been a certain amount of what you might call intimacy, but I cannot understand the way their minds worked where sex was concerned.
To be honest with you, Doc, this is what happened.
- One guy wanted to ejaculate in my hand;
- The second guy wanted to ejaculate over my bottom;
- The third wanted to climax on my breasts;
- And the last boy was keen to give me what he called 'a facial'.
Now, are these four young men crazy or what?
A: Well, they may seem crazy to any logically minded woman such as you, but, in fact, they are fairly typical of a lot of today's young males.
You see, it is important to realise that a million or so years of human history have 'conditioned' men to have an intense desire to discharge their sperm into the female vagina. Really, that is why the human race has survived for so long.
But there are two other factors to bear in mind:
1. Most young women have the sense to refuse to allow guys to climax inside the vagina. Therefore, many men seek to find some other part of the female body to ejaculate into or on to.
2. The recent epidemic of pornographic films has convinced a lot of younger men that it is perfectly acceptable to orgasm over all sorts of areas of a lady's body. That has changed sexual behaviour quite a bit in the last few years. For example, a couple of decades ago, it was almost unknown for women to agree to the type of rather messy activity known as 'a facial'. Yet today, it happens quite frequently.
I am not clear as to whether you are still a virgin, but if you are, I urge you to remain so.
At least these 'petting' activities, which involve no penetration of your body, will not get you pregnant and they are very unlikely to give you any sexual infection.
Please bear in mind that women are not obliged to agree to this sort of thing. If you don't want a guy to climax in your hand or on any other part of your body, then simply refuse.
Masturbation and my size
Q: A friend has told me that if I masturbate frequently, that will increase the length of my penis.
In your medical opinion, is this true, Doc?
A: Your friend is talking foolishness. Masturbation will not have the slightest effect on the size of your organ.
Am I still a virgin?
Q: Am I a virgin, Doc? I recently let a guy finger me 'down there', so I am wondering if I am still a virgin.
A: Legally, there is only one way in which a woman can lose her virginity, and that is by having a man's penis enter her vagina.
Incidentally, the male organ does not have to go in very far. Even if it only penetrates half an inch or so, that constitutes intercourse and, therefore, the woman will no longer be a virgin.
Now, in your case, it does not sound as though there has been any penile penetration at all. If I have understood you correctly, you have just been touched (and perhaps penetrated) by a guy's finger. That does not - I repeat not constitute loss of virginity.
However, I suspect that what you are really concerned about is whether your 'virgin's veil' has been broken. This is the hymen - the thin membrane which partially closes off the vagina. It is fairly fragile and is easily broken by tampons or by masturbation or by 'love play.'
So if you allowed that guy to put his finger inside, it is quite possible that the hymen got broken. When it breaks, there is often a spot or two of blood.
But legally and medically, it doesn't really matter whether a young woman's hymen is broken or not. It will certainly not cause you any medical problems.
My baby swallowed a pill
Q: Doc, my baby girl accidentally swallowed a pill that my mother takes for her mental illness.
Could that be something that might affect my daughter in the future?
A: Unfortunately, children quite often swallow their parents' and relatives' tablets - sometimes with disastrous results.
That is why it is enormously important that mothers and fathers keep all medication locked away where tiny hands cannot touch them.
I am puzzled that you describe your daughter as a 'baby' because it is very unusual for babies to manage to get pills and swallow them, but maybe your 'baby daughter' is walking around and is able to reach shelves and cupboards.
Anyway, the important thing is that she has swallowed some drug, which is doubtless quite powerful. If you have not already done so, you really should take her to a doctor or a hospital for a full examination.
The odds are that she will be OK and that there will be no long-term damage to her health.
In future, please keep your mother's medication (and also your own things like contraceptive Pills) securely locked away.
Q: I am a guy of 19 and I have never had sex. I have been approached by a lady who is extremely attractive, even though she must be 35 or so.
She has made it very clear that she would like to take me to bed with her, but, Doc, I have two concerns:
1. Will she be able to guess that I am a virgin?
2. Is there any chance that I could get her pregnant?
A: I should think that this lady will be assuming that you are a virgin. It may seem surprising to you, but in fact, there are quite a few women in her age group who like the idea of 'initiating' a younger man, so there is no need for you to pretend that you are experienced in sexual matters.
As to your second question, there is every chance that this lady is still fertile. As such, it is perfectly possible that you could get her pregnant. Indeed, she may actually have picked you as a possible babyfather!
Now, I am not encouraging you to go ahead and have this affaire. It could well involve you in trouble, depending on such factors as whether the lady has a boyfriend - or a husband!
But if you do go ahead, then please take care. In addition to the danger of pregnancy, there is also a chance that you could wind up with a sexually transmitted infection, so before joining this lady in her bed, you should go out and buy yourself a pack of condoms.
Q: I am 18 and pregnant. An older man has been trying to persuade me to have sex with him because he says it 'will make labour easier'.
Is this true, Doc?
A: No. This is an old trick used by some men when they want to seduce pregnant girls. Pay him no mind.
- Email questions to Doc at firstname.lastname@example.org and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.