Fri | May 20, 2022

I wish my nagging wife would drop dead

Published:Monday | September 7, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Q To be honest, I wish my wife would drop dead. She is very nagging. She fusses about everything. She quarrels if I eat the food in the fridge, yet, if I don't, it stays there and spoils. She does not want the children to eat either, and gets angry if they touch her health food. We do not have a social life. She watches her movies in the bedroom and I have to watch TV in the living room. When she is finished watching a movie, she goes on the computer for hours. We are in the house and she sends me text messages. She does not help the children at all. The live-in helper has to do all the work. I help the children with homework. If the driver cannot pick up the children after school, I have to do it. She puts her career before the children.

She is secretive about her salary. She knows how much I earn, but I do not know her earnings. She has bank accounts with her name alone. She is very selfish. Everything must be about her. She spends a lot of money buying clothes and shoes for herself. If she goes overseas, 95 per cent of her spending is on herself. She hardly buys anything for the children, claiming they are too fussy. She shouts at the children and is always quick to punish them. The children avoid her. In fact, we all avoid her. I want her out of my life.

A You are having very unhealthy thoughts about your wife. Death is not the only way to get your wife out of your life. There is an easier way called divorce. You need to have a candid discussion with her about the relationship with you and the children. The next step is finding a competent counsellor, quickly.

Remember, that if your wife drops dead then you will have no one to help with the children. She might not be doing much, but she is still the children's mother.

Perhaps you can change your way of operating and watch movies with her in the bedroom, even if you do not like her movies. It will show her that you care for her and her interests.

It could be that she believes her role as wife is to look pretty and your role is to be a provider. Hence, her money is her money and she expects you to pick up the kids. You need to ask her what are her expectations of you. Tell her what yours are of her. Hopefully, you can come to a mutual agreement.

Based on what you have related, she seems selfish. This will affect the marriage and family. She needs to take a good look at herself. It is stupid to have a bank account with her name alone. Why does she not even put the children's name on the accounts? Something is wrong with that.

Your marriage is on the rocks. You need to get help quickly.