Tue | Sep 21, 2021

Can’t stand the way my friend treats her husband

Published:Tuesday | August 11, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Can't stand the way my friend treats her husband

Dear Joan,

I just don't like the way my friend is treating her husband. We both attend the same church and I have come to like and respect him a great deal. He is a cool person to reason with and he gives good advice.

This is why I don't understand how my friend can be taking him for granted so much. She is so busy in church and involved in all kinds of committees. I tell her that she should spend more time with her husband or he is going to stray. When I tell her that, she gets upset with me and tells me to mind my own business.

One day I was talking to her husband and asked him how he felt about his wife being so involved in the church and if he feels like she is neglecting him. He told me that she has a passion for the ministry, but I could sense that was just giving lip service. Tell me how I can reach my friend?

- J.T


Dear J.T.,

I am reading your letter and just shaking my head. The utter gall of you! If you are a friend, you would do exactly as she told you and mind your own business. You should have done that when she told you to and not approach her husband.

He told you that she has a passion for ministry - which is clearly telling you that he is supportive of her work. But you have seen another reason beyond his response because that's not what you want to hear. Maybe you should stop spending so much time with the woman's husband - going to him all the time with your problems. I think you want to ingratiate yourself somehow. Stop while you still can. You don't know what's going on in their marriage. Are you in their bedroom? Do you know what they do when they go behind closed doors? Just because she is busy in church doesn't mean when she gets home she doesn't give him all the attention he needs.

I would advise you to spend a little more time in the word, build up your own relationship with the Lord and, as a matter of fact, it sounds like you have too much free time on your hands. It wouldn't hurt to help her out on some of those committees.

Have a blessed day.

- Joan

Will I ever get married?

Dear Joan,

I am now in my late 30s and I am beginning to hit the panic button. My dream of getting married and having a child is slowly dying . Sometimes, I think about just going into a relationship to get pregnant that way if I never get married. I would, at least, have a child. All the men in my church are already married and the single ones are way too young. These days, that's all I can think about. Please help me. What can I do?

- M.M.


Dear M.M,

From the bottom of my heart I do feel your pain. I understand what loneliness can drive a person to do, but I implore you to think twice before you find yourself into a selfish relationship. Going into a relationship for the sole purpose of getting pregnant is not a good one. Do me a favour: stop thinking that the world is passing you by, remember God is a God of miracles, and His timing is not the same as ours.

Start enjoying yourself, go to gospel concerts, visit other churches sometimes, and stop assessing every male in your church.

If that is God's will for your life, you will find your soulmate in due course. In the meantime, try and enjoy your single life without the added pressure.

-  Do you have an issue in the Church and need guidance? Send questions to familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com