Fri | Nov 26, 2021

'I have sexy dreams'

Published:Wednesday | September 9, 2015 | 4:24 PM

Q Good morning, Doc. I am a guy of 18, and I don't have a parent to advise me. I am fretting about sexy dreams. By the way, I have never been out with a girl or kissed one.

Since I was around 14, I have been troubled by these very frank sexual dreams, several times for the week. What usually happens is that I dream that I am looking at one or more beautiful naked women. Quite often, one (or more) of the women offers to have sex with me. She brings her intimate parts near to me, but I don't really know what to do.

However, the dream almost always ends in me reaching a climax. Usually, I wake up at this point and find that there is 'man-fluid' all over the belly. Or sometimes, it happens another way, so that I don't remember the dream, but I find evidence that there has been one. This is a little embarrassing, because it stains my sheet.

So, Doc, I am asking you kindly to answer these three questions. Are these 'nightmares' a sign of something wrong? Will the sex dreams harm my health? Finally, could I get some pills from a doctor in order to stop them?

A Sorry to hear about your concerns. Sounds like no one has ever advised you about sex and about the way that young men develop.

So what you have not realised is that most young guys have these dreams, which are usually called 'wet dreams'. The medical term for those climaxes is nocturnal emissions, the dreams are not nightmares.

Now, let me answer your three questions. First, the sex dreams are not a sign of anything wrong with you. They are just nature's way of getting rid of a build-up of seminal fluid.

Second, the dreams will not do you any harm at all. They are completely natural. I notice that some young men (particularly those of Asian background) have the idea that the dreams will somehow weaken them, or make them lose their strength, or even shorten their lives. None of this is true. These nocturnal emissions cannot have any effect upon your health.

Finally, you ask whether a doctor could give you pills in order to stop the wet dreams. I am afraid that that is quite impossible. The only treatment which would stop the dreams is female hormone therapy, which would take your sex drive away completely. No doctor in Jamaica would ever consider prescribing anything like that for you!

Summing up, there is nothing wrong with nocturnal emissions. So please quit fretting.

Q I am a girl of 17 who is having regular sex with my boyfriend. I had never had sexual intercourse with anyone till I met him.

What I am fretting about is the possibility of getting pregnant by him. I really do not want that.

I have heard that there is some way of having intercourse that is called the 'rhythm method'. My friends tell me that it involves avoiding sex on special days of the month.

Would this work for me, Doc?

A The rhythm method is popular in some parts of the word, notably Latin America. But you really shouldn't embark on it unless you have a qualified person (like a doctor or midwife or nurse) who understands the technique. It is often called rhythm and blues because of the fact that it involves so much abstinence from sex.

The rhythm method involves avoiding the part of your menstrual cycle during which you might ovulate, that is, release an ovum (egg) from the ovary. Unfortunately, that 'danger time' is quite long - around nine or 10 days.

So the time during which you can have sex is pretty short. In fact, it is:

n Just before the menses, and

n Usually, for a day or so after the menses.

You can also have sex during the period - provided that neither of you has any objection to that.

But unfortunately, it's difficult to calculate the exact dates that are safe. That is why I say that you need expert help in doing this.

As a very rough guide, I can tell you that a young woman who has a dead-regular 28-day cycle should avoid having sex from 'day eight' to 'day 17.' But one thing is vital: She must count the first day of the period as 'day one.' Many young people make the disastrous mistake of counting from the last day of the menses.

Now, if your cycle is not regular, or is not 28 days, then life becomes more difficult. However, it is still possible to use the rhythm method as long as you have good professional advice.

Doctor, nurse, or midwife can help you to employ one of several ways in which a young couple can make the rhythm method safer. These include:

n The temperature method. You have to take your temperature every morning and plot it on a chart. A slight 'kink' in the temperature graph helps to show when you are ovulating.

n The vaginal secretion method. Around the time of ovulation, the vaginal fluid is usually clear, thin, and 'stretchy.' So plotting the nature of your secretions on a special chart can help identify your danger time.

n The ovulation kit method. This involves using the ovulation tests, which you can buy in pharmacies, but I'm afraid that it works out to be very expensive.

Q Can a guy get a girl pregnant, even if he doesn't quite discharge in her?

A Yes. It is possible for sperm to leak out of the penis. So please don't take this risk.

Q Is it true that a girl can have an operation to restore her virginity, Doc?

A Well, it is possible to do an operation that restores the appearance of virginity. The surgeon just creates a little flap that looks like the hymen (the virgin's veil).

This operation is rather painful - and very expensive.

Q Doc, I am 19 years old and want to be an officer in the armed forces, but although I am very fit, there are days when I only seem to have one testicle. Please give any solution.

A I am almost sure that you have an undescended testicle on one side.

You see, when a male foetus is in the womb, he starts off with his testicles inside his belly. As the mother's pregnancy progresses, the two testicles come down into the scrotum.

But in many cases, one of the boy's testicles remains 'stuck' inside his belly. Alternatively, it may enter the scrotum at times, but then 'pop back' up into the body on other occasions. I think that is your situation.

Please see a surgeon-specialist as soon as possible. He will be able to operate in order to bring the testicle fully down into the scrotum - and keep it there.

Good luck!

Q Please reassure me, Doc: Does using a condom prevent any possible chance of VD?

A No, it doesn't, but it does cut down the risk of infection substantially - especially if you use it all the way through sex.

n Email questions to Doc at and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.