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Absurd! Pastor rubbishes claims that married Christian couples should not try new sex act

Published:Thursday | October 29, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!

For your love is better than wine - Songs of Solomon 1: 2

Personal note: The need for this article became glaringly obvious after talking to a mature Christian and mentioning 'French kiss'. She thought the idea of putting her tongue in her husband's mouth was disgusting and flatly stated, she doesn't indulge in that!

Sex is not the 'be all and end all' in a marriage, but it plays an important part. A lot of Christian marriages are falling apart and the reality is that no amount of faith is going to keep it together if partners fail to work together to keep it alive.

Exploring sexual issues is still very much taboo in the Church. The Church has been very vocal on a number of issues such as crime, government policies, gambling and broken families.

Yet there is a very loud silence when it comes on to one of the elements which contribute to broken families - sexually pleasing your spouse.

The act of spicing up your bedroom, blowing your partner's mind and getting creative in the matrimonial bed are things many Christians - especially those who are from the old school of teaching - shy away from and are yet to explore as some of these activities are regarded as sinful.

Rev Gifton Wallace of the Baptist Holiness Church of God in Harmony Hall, St Mary, stressed the need for the Church to play an important role in this department.

"The body of Christ is referred to in St Matthew 5:14 as "the light of the world", and since man is created a being with body, soul and spirit, the Church's responsibility is to cater to and meet every aspect of his needs.


focus on sanctity of sex


According to Wallace, great emphasis should be placed on "the sacredness and sanctity of the sex act, removing the myths taboos surrounding it, presenting and projecting it as a God-given act, emphasising and promoting that while it is a pleasurable experience that can be enjoyed by any, it is intended to be enjoyed within the context of marriage," he said, adding that the Church should also point out the physical, psychological, emotional ramifications that are associated with sexual activities and also the health issues that are a part of its reality.

A lot of Christians engage in fasting - the practice of abstaining from food and certain activities for religious observation. During this time, somehow denying their partner sex ends up under this ritual.

Wallace points out that the Bible is very clear when it comes on to this.

1 Corinthians 7:5 stipulates, "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourself to prayer," he said.

Biblically speaking, Wallace said neither the husband nor the wife has authority over their own body.

"Therefore, the decision not to be engaged in that sacred act must always be with mutual consent and advisable not for lengthy periods."

Wallace also addressed some stigmas that are still prevalent in some churches, such as not to be engage with their husband/wife the day before worship.

This he describes as "absurd and far from the truth". Instead, he said it's a glorious act of worship and within the confines of marriage.

He also discredits the "puss inna bag" practice of making love with your partner before marriage.

"This speaks to ignorance and a subtle excuse to indulge before the appropriate time as the experience over time, like most things, will (should) get better."

With a lot of Christian women being 'prim and proper' thinking some sexual acts or exploits are just too 'unholy' for the bedroom, the reverend advises that the sex act must be a rich, rewarding and fulfilling experience, "and 'new stuff' within the context of morality, non-violation of the person's privacy, conscience, health and personal conviction would be welcomed if it will enhance, strengthen and make more meaningful the experience."