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Faith Counsellor: I am unhappy in my marriage

Published:Wednesday | November 25, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Dear Joan,

I have been married for more than 15 years and, to tell you the truth, I am really not happy. For the first five years, things were wonderful. We had fun, the passion was there, and he was so attentive to me.

I noticed he started coming home later and later and, these days, I don't even mind when he gets in late, as most times I am asleep anyway. I have no joy in preparing his meals anymore as he doesn't even seem excited by them like he used to be. In the beginning, we talked about every little thing, but now he just sits in front of the television watching one sport after another, while I stay in the bedroom and watch TV.

I am now at the stage where Iam wondering why we are even still married. The truth is that we are living more like brother and sister than a couple. I think we should just cut our losses and call it a day.

Please, I really need your opinion on this. God bless you.

- O.R.


Dear O.R.,

From reading your letter, I honestly don't think your marriage is a goner. You have a lot of positives going on. He is home even if he is stuck in front of the tube. Many wives don't have a clue where their husbands go after work; he still eats the meals you prepare, which tell you he is not pigging out elsewhere. You are living in harmony (although you call it a brother-sister relationship).

I think it's time you get the fire back in your marriage. Instead of getting involved in other people's lives on Lifetime, start taking control of yours. Start up a conversation, when he comes in from work make yourself sexy, and go charm the socks off your husband. It could be that you have also stopped giving him the signals he is looking for.

Your vows are not to be taken lightly, so put in some working on making it work.



My favourite show keeps getting in the way of church

Dear Joan,

I am feeling guilty about something, but to tell the truth, I don't even know if it is wrong.

We have women's mission meeting on Tuesday nights at my church, and I find it hard to leave the house to go because my favourite show, 'If Loving You Is Wrong', comes on at that time. I am very active in church otherwise. I go on Sundays and at other in-the-week services, so I really don't think it's a big deal if I stay at home on a Tuesday. It's just that I can't shake the feelings of guilt that I get each week. It's getting to the point where I am even losing some of the joy I had in it.

Please tell me what to do.

- H. J.

Dear H.J.,

I think you already know what to do without me telling you a thing. The mere fact that you are having feelings of guilt should be telling you something. Let me be clear that nothing is wrong with watching the show in itself, but if you have a service to attend and that's the sole reason you are staying away then that means you are putting something else in front of God.

Nothing should have that much control over your relationship with God. I myself am a fan of the show, but I can take it or leave it.

Anything you put in front of your service to God is your idol. For you, it is a show. For some, it's their car, house or even their partner. Maybe it's time to give the show a break. Well, it will soon break, so use the weeks when it is absent to set your priorities straight.


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