Mon | Jan 17, 2022

Hello Mi Neighbour | A word to the wise

Published:Wednesday | May 22, 2019 | 12:00 AM
The groom inserting a diamond ring on the bride's finger.

Hello mi neighbour! This information may be late in coming for millions, but if we could catch some who have not yet gone through the gate, it would have worth the energy. At the risk of sounding simplistic, I’ll be simple. Maybe if those young, teary-eyed neighbours who often call us, seeking help for their five fatherless children, got this information earlier, their present predicament could have been averted.

So let me be bold and assert, in a global culture where boundaries to sexual intercourse are fast disappearing, that NO ONE should engage in sexual intercourse outside the boundary of marriage, as difficult as it appears. Offence is not intentional. Just stating the standard while trying to help a few who may be opening their young lives to unnecessary suffering for which they are not prepared. I meet them daily.

Young lady, Christian and otherwise, if you have sexual intercourse with your boyfriend even while going steady, committed, engaged or shacking up, you are courting trouble, and we can discuss further. But this is no condemnation, be calm. There’s hope.

There’s something extra special about a married couple’s first time: the physical and spiritual oneness that occur is enhanced by a unique depth of pleasure reserved only for those engaged in marriage. Call it God’s wedding present if you may. Also, those who refrain from sex outside of marriage are protected from the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy, which may lead to abortion and broken relationships with family members, etc.

Please note that because we carry baggage from other sexual relationships, past memories, emotional scars, and unwanted mental images can affect our thoughts and contaminate ‘bed works’ in a marriage. When a woman has a casual sexual relationship, later she will often regret it, especially when hopes for an enduring relationship are dashed. Her male partner may feel like a victor after he discards her, making her feel like a victim.

If a girl dates someone whom she thinks is ‘Mr Right’, she does not usually enhance her chances of maintaining this relationship by giving in sexually. If she is jilted because of her refusal to surrender, she has not lost much, but has retained something precious, which can never be regained if lost.

Men are also damaged by illicit sex. In addition to their own later feelings of guilt for having used young women, they often find it hard to build and maintain a long-term relationship with other women.

Finally, any sexual experimentation outside of marriage is a mistake. Couples will never be the same. Some care and tenderness will be missing but they will survive. Hope I helped someone.

Please help someone from list below.


Thanks to neighbours

- Jennifer, St Andrew, for donations.

- Angella, St Andrew, for contribution.

- Doreen, St Andrew, for donations.

- Neighbour for items of clothing.

- Leon, St Andrew, for bed linen, clothing and household items.



Neighbours’ requests

- Neighbour, badly needs help with food.

- Neighbour, unemployed, desperately needs a mattress.

- Sister Daley, St Thomas, wheelchair-bound and needs a TV.

- Miss Facey, unemployed single mother, asking for food items.

- Mavis, Kingston, asking for a dining table and a dresser.

- Final-year law student barred from sitting exams due to non-payment of fees – desperately reaching out to neighbours for help with this crisis … needs to be included in the November graduation.


To help, please call Silton Townsend @ 334-8165, 884-3866, or deposit to acct # 351 044 276 NCB. Alternatively, send donations to HELLO NEIGHBOUR C/o 53 Half-Way Tree Road, Kingston 10; Paypal/credit card: email: CONTACT EMAIL: Visit Mr Townsend exclusively manages the collections and distributions mentioned in this column and is neither an employee nor agent of The Gleaner.