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Three signs your ready for an exclusive relationship

Three signs you are ready for an exclusive relationship

Published:Monday | July 13, 2015 | 12:52 PM

3 signs you are ready for an exclusive relationship

Deciding to go with one exclusive partner is a challenging issue. You are passionate and excited, but you are also concerned about being hurt. Nobody wants to enter into a failed relationship.

Today, we examine three signs that you are in fact ready to enter into an exclusive relationship. These are not the usual ones that you read about. These are designed to help you enjoy a happy, long-term relationship.

Being in an exclusive relationship is often referred to as 'going steady'. Steady suggests stability, so the key is to identify signs that the relationship that you are about to enter will last.

A lasting relationship is dependent on the people who are in it. Start by examining your own readiness.

Here are some questions that you should answer honestly. If you answer yes to all of them, then you might be ready for an exclusive relationship.

1. Are you clear about your life's purpose? In other words, are you pretty sure about what you want out of life and what is expected of you?

2. Have you identified the kind of support that would help you achieve your life's goals and aspirations?

3. Do you have clarity about the qualities that a partner would need to have in order to provide you with the support that you will need?

The reality is that we enter into partnerships to fulfil our dreams and aspirations. We want a partner who is going to help us get some of what we want out of life. Being clear about what you want, helps with the selection process.

If you are clear about what you want to achieve in life, you stand a very good chance of making a wise choice of a partner.

Also, if you know what you are looking for, you will be better positioned to attract it. Your personal clarity about your vision is the first indicator of your readiness for going steady. The second important sign will naturally relate to your partner.

Do not assess your readiness for entering into the relationship on the basis of the excitement that you might be experiencing at this time. The fact that you cannot bear to be away from your partner is not a sufficient reason to believe that both of you are ready for exclusive dating or marriage.

If you want to be blessed with a truly lasting relationship, apply the three questions to your prospective partner. Work to look beyond the current source of attraction.

Since relationships are two-way streets, it is imperative that you take time to identify the aspirations and dreams of your potential life partner. Can you relate to their life goals and are you able to support them in achieving their objectives?

So, the second sign that you are ready for an exclusive relationship is that you and you partner have goals and dreams that are in sync.

The third sign of readiness, is the attitude of the partners to relationships. Some people are just not cut out for exclusive relationships. They prefer to be free spirits. Settling down for any meaningful period of time is not on how passionate and committed they are at the beginning. Spend time in introspection about your views on relationships. Are you philosophically disposed to long-term relationships?

Are you likely to work patiently to overcome the inevitable conflicts and challenges that impact all relationships?

What are your partner's views on these issues?

Partners who are committed to long-term relationships consistently enjoy happier and longer lasting unions than their free-spirited counterparts.

This might be challenging to identify up front. Use history and the experiences of close friends and family as a guide. Being surrounded by family and friends who are in stable, loyal relationships is a good sign.

So, are you ready?

Take the process to another level with the SWPA Relationship Matrix .... An in-depth behavioural analysis of both parties in a single report plus companion manual. E-mail:

• Trevor E. S. Smith is a behaviour modification coach with the Success with People Academy, which is recognised by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) to offer Professional Development Credits for the SHRM-CPSM or SHRM-SCPSM certifications. Home of the ICF-accredited Certified Behavioural Coach Award. Joint venture partner Extended DISC/FinxS Caribbean. Website: